The Hetalia cast goes to
by LongliveA.Monk
Summary: A *Insert random number here* part series about the Hetalia: Axis Powers cast, the different countries they visit for their world meetings, and the craziness that goes down.Based on true storries.
1. Introduction

**The Hetalia cast goes to…**

A *Insert random number here* part series about the Hetalia: Axis Powers cast and the different countries they visit for their world meetings. As I stated in the prologue of my story The Hetalia cast goes to Washington D.C, the tale is based on my real experiences on my trip to Washington D.C. One of my fans (I have a fan? WOW! I feel special *teary eyes of joy*) Emololipop suggested that I write about the Hetalia cast taking trips to other countries. Since the only country I've ever visited is Canada (I've never been outside North America), I'd like to hear your suggestions: What country should they go to? If you've ever visited another country tell me what country and your experience. Did anything crazy/funny/weird/fun happen on your trip? I'll turn your trip into a story! Why? I have no life! =P


	2. Japan, Part 1

Thank you very much to Cardcaptor Ryoko who sent me the story of her trip to Japan! I hope I did a good job of retelling your adventure! As you will see I added some things that did not happen for comedic purposes.

_Disclaimer-I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers or the country of Japan. _

**The Hetalia cast goes to….JAPAN! **

Part 1-Breaking the forth wall

*Continued from the final chapter of The Hetalia cast goes to Washington D.C.

While waiting for their planes, the nations discussed where they should hold the next world meeting.

"So who want to go next?" asked Alfred. "Who hasn't had a turn?"

Kiku raised his hand tentatively. "I have yet to be the host for our meetings."

"Good job Kiku!" Vash gave him a thumbs up. "You're finally speaking up for yourself!"

"Um, thank you?"

"I vote for Japan as well." Ludwig said.

"Ve~! I agree with Ludwig!" Feliciano said. "Let's go to Japan!"

"I'd like to visit Japan too, wouldn't you Aniki?" Yong Soo said to Yao while shining a laser pointer from the Spy Museum into his older brother's eyes.

"Yes, now please stop blinding me with that thing aru."

"This thing? It was invented in…"

"Don't even start aru."

"Does everyone else agree?" Alfred asked loudly.

Every nation agreed.

"Right then! Next time we meet in Japan!"

Sometime later

Before the nations knew it, it was time for the next world meeting. They all met up at the airport in Akihabara, Tokyo. There were anime advertisements EVERYWHERE, there very many girls in gothic lolita dresses, and there were a few girls in maid costumes advertising a maid café.

"Wow; now I know how Dorothy felt like." Alfred said, taking in everything around him. "I am so not in Kansas anymore. This place is AWESOME!"

"I know what you mean." Arthur said. "I feel like I just fell down the rabbit hole."

"That looks familiar…" Feliciano cocked his head at a giant billboard advertising "Hetalia: Axis Powers". "But I can't think of where I've seen those characters before."

"What kind of store is that?" asked Francis, pointing to a store with bright lights in it.

"Ahhh, don't go in there. It has a lot of …inappropriate merchandise." Kiku waved his arms in a "no, no" fashion.

"Kinda reminds me of 'Spencer's.'" Alfred remarked.

"Sounds like my kind of store." Francis promptly walked into the store.

The others checked out an anime/manga store. On one floor they found figurines as well as mangas.

"Ve, Ludwig, Ludwig! Look!" Feliciano pointed out a set of figurines. "It's us!"

"It is." Ludwig looked surprised. "It's the world nations as figurines." He picked up a Germany figure. "Very accurate too…"

"That's my surprise." Kiku said, smiling. "I had a company that makes anime figures turn us into toys. I hope you like them."

"Like them? I love this Kiku! Thank you! Hug time!" Feliciano hugged Kiku.

"Get off!" he squeaked and broke free.

Now, being made into a toy would make any person excited and start to act like a child. The world nations were no exception. Everyone began to play with their respective figures. Feliciano made North Italy dance. Kiku and Ludwig made their respective figures have a conversation with each other. Alfred made America fly around the room. Yao and Yong Soo made their respective figures fight. Ivan juggled Lithuanian, Poland, Estonia, and Latvia, while their respective owners tried to catch them. Denmark chased Iceland, Berwald, Tino, and Norway with his figure. Elizaveta did "weird" (1) things with the Austria and Prussia figure, while the two real persons watched in disgust. Lovino and Antonio switched figures and imitated each other. Francis, who had returned to the group, made his figure and the England figure make out. Arthur hit him on the head with a random yaoi manga. After hitting him, he took a close look at the cover.

"Is that a guy or a girl?" he asked Kiku, pointing to the person with very long braided hair. "I can't tell."

"There's a ninety-nine point nine percent chance it's a male... in fact

I'm positive it's a guy."

"So…these two men are gay?"

"Half the stuff on this floor consists of gay men. This sort of thing is called yaoi."

"What does that translate to?"

"Nothing, actually."

"Then why is it called yaoi?" he started to read the manga. "YOWIE!" he dropped the book as though it was on fire.

"That's why."

After a few more minutes of playtime, the nations put down the figures and looked at various mangas and anime DVDs.

"That's happened to me too!" Feliciano held up a manga and pointed to a comic in which a girl in a reddish pink sailor suit forgot to cross the street because she was distracted by her own thoughts; she was thinking about crossing the street.

"Why am I not surprised?" Ludwig replied, reading a manga with a suit of armor and a boy with braided, blonde hair on the cover.

'Look Artie! It's your friends!" Alfred shoved two DVD's with "Fairy" in the title into Arthur's face.

"They are real, you just can't see them." He replied, holding a DVD with a girl, a cat and a rat on the cover.

"Everyone, we should go now," Kiku said, holding a manga with a girl dressed in a lolita dress, appeared to have cat like ears, and very long silvery blonde hair on the front. "It's getting late."

The nations paid for their merchandise and headed out, but not before Feliciano noticed something:

"Hey, where did all the figures go?" Feliciano looked around the store but they were nowhere to be found.

"I guess someone bought them all." Ludwig replied.

"Aww!" he said in a disappointed voice. "I wanted to buy me!"

"I wanted to buy you too." Francis said.

"That just sounds wrong." Arthur remarked.

Ivan, who was in the back of the group, had a strange smile on his face and was holding a bulky looking bag.

"**Now, all the nations belong to Russia**….more or less."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

(1)And by "weird", I mean good (if you're a yaoi fan).


	3. Japan, Part 2

Cardcaptor Ryoko-san, I'm sorry…I went crazy with this part.

_Disclaimer-I do not own Hetalia, nor do I own a high-tech toilet. _

Part2-Toilet humor

Upon arriving at the hotel, Alfred explored the room and made an interesting discovery in the bathroom.

"This is one high tech toilet."

"We have a nice view of Tokyo and THAT is what you find to be interesting?" Arthur said, opening the curtains. "I will never understand you."

"But Artie, look at it! It has buttons and stuff! Check out these features: Heat seat, cool seat, massage, water jet adjustment, raise the seat, air conditioning or heating for the whole room, automatic air deodorizer, eject…"

"Eject? It does not say that….does it?" Arthur walked over and took a closer look…whereupon Alfred pushed the button for the bidet and Arthur received a jet of hot water in his face.

"Ha ha! Made you look!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!"

Alfred ran around the room laughing while a very angry, and very wet, Arthur chased him.

"Well you two are never dull, I'll say that." Matthew said, sighing as he watched the scene.

Francis agreed.

After the chase, the two nations were exhausted and went to bed. Matthew and Francis did the same. That night, Alfred had a dream. The dream recreated the events of the day. He was looking at the toilet buttons and found a new one.

"Transform into Britannia Angel? What the heck is this?"

He pushed the button. Arthur's clothes changed into a toga with angel wings, a halo, and a star wand.

"Wh…what did you do to me?!" Arthur shouted, pulling the toga down as it was quite short and showed a little more of his legs than he wanted.

Alfred said nothing; he only stared for about 5 minutes.

"Change me back you dolt!" Arthur finally screamed.

"I'm trying!" Alfred could not find a button that said "Change back." He started pressing random buttons frantically. He pressed the bidet button and water squirted in his face.

Alfred opened his eyes and quickly noticed his face and hair were really wet. Standing over his bed was Arthur, with a smugly satisfied smile on his face, holding an empty water glass.

"Don't ever mess with the empire on which the sun never sets."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

After drying his face and getting dressed, Alfred hurried to the lobby to join the other nations. First, the group went on a tour of Tokyo Tower.

"It looks like the Eiffel tower!" Alfred pointed out. (1) "Kiku, you copied Francis' design."

"Don't worry about it Alfred, I consider it a compliment." Francis replied, putting his arm around Kiku's waist. "It's a form of flattery. It means he likes me."

Kiku looked at him nervously. "W…well, I…I liked the design. It looked like a good design for a communications tower. It's taller than the Eiffel Tower actually."

An anime style vein pulsed in Francis' head while Arthur fought to hold back his laughter.

Francis huffed. "Your tower may be larger but…"

A frying pan came out of nowhere and hit him on the back of the head.

After he regained consciousness, the cast visited the Imperial Palace Plaza and Asakusa Kannon Temple. Gilbert discovered something that he believed was more interesting.

"Hey! I think someone stole all the toilets!" he said as he ran out of the restroom.

"No they didn't; these are Japanese style toilets." Kiku explained.

"………….You're kidding, right?"

"No."

Gilbert slowly turned his head toward the restroom door. "I don't have to go anymore…" (2)

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After the tour, everyone went back to their hotel rooms to rest. Just like Alfred, Denmark explored his hotel room. He found a switch near the bathroom door.

"What does this switch do?"

He flipped it switch.

"Hey!" he heard Norway, who was in the bathroom, call out. "It's dark in here!

"Oooh!" Denmark instantly realized he had found a fun new toy.

"Turn this light back on now."

"No way."

"You suck."

Denmark only laughed.

Sometime later, Norway opened the door with a pissed off look on his usually emotionless face.

"You are such a child." He said.

"And PROUD of it!" Denmark replied.

Norway was not the only one who had to use the bathroom in the dark. When Berwald and Tino returned from a trip to the ice machine Berwald decided to shower. As soon as Denmark heard the water running he turned off the lights.

"OI!"

"Gotcha!"

"T'rn the lights back on, Den."

"Yes Denmark, please turn them back on." Tino said.

"Nope! This is for leaving the Kalmar Union!"

"Wh'n I fin'sh, yer dead."

Unfortunately Berwald forgot just how good Denmark was at hide and seek. After his shower he searched all over the room for the Dane but couldn't find him anywhere.

"Wh're is 'e?"

"I don't know." Tino said guiltily.

"He made us close our eyes and ears and had us count to 110." Norway explained.

"I'm sorry." Tino said. "I should have peaked."

"'s ok. 'll find h'm event'ally."

"Well, good luck Su-san," Tino said, opening the bathroom door. "I think I'll shower now."

As soon as the sound of running water was heard, Denmark burst out of a suitcase and shut off the bathroom lights.

"What the?!"

He laughed maniacally. "No one can stop me!"

Berwald stood in front of the Dane, showing how much taller he was than him. He bent down to look into his eyes.

"W'nna bet?"

Denmark gulped and quickly filled the switch back on.

"Th'ts better. Now, d'dn't I say I w's gonna fin'sh ya?"

When Tino exited the bathroom he found Denmark in a pile of bed sheets, rolled up and looking like a caterpillar.

"Ok Ber, you've had your fun, now untie me." The Dane commanded.

"Tino, Norway, whadaya say we leave 'im like this fer the night?"

"Sounds good." Norway said, sending a picture text of the Denmark caterpillar to Iceland.

"I don't see anything wrong with it." Said Tino.

"Hey! Can't you guys take a joke?!"

"'ave ya ever tried adjustin' the water of yer show'r in the dark?" Berwald asked. "I b'rned m'self."

"Su-san, I had no idea." Tino said, concerned. "Does it still hurt?"

"'m fine. But if ya wanted t' kiss it better…"

Tino blushed. "Er, we have ice you know."

XxxxxxXxxxxX

"You know what I just noticed," Alfred said. 'This toilet has all these features but I can't find the button that says "Flush". Ha! Whadaya know?! The Japanese create a toilet with all these cool features but they forgot the most important one!"

"It's right here, you idiot." Arthur pointed to a button that clearly said "flush".

"Oh….I thought that was an emergency button or something."

Arthur sighed. "I'm glad I'm not actually related to you…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1)Tokyo Tower resembles the Eiffel Tower with a few differences.

(2) .org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan

Francis: Why do I keep getting hurt in this story?! D=

Me: I'm sorry. =( *Guilty puppy dog eyes* I'll stop hurting you.

Francis: _Merci._


	4. Japan, Part 3

Sorry for the wait everyone!! Cardcaptor Ryoko-san, I added a few new things, hope you don't mind.

_Disclaimer-I know that I do not own Hetalia because my name is not Hidekaz Himaruya._

**Warning: Slight 'Twilight' bashing and bad language.**

Part 3-Cold ice cream, hot springs and a little music

After a good night's rest and breakfast, the nations hopped onto a bus leaving for Mount Fuji.

"Wow, it's really green out here." Ivan commented as he looked out the window. "There's so many hills and mountains with green plants. It's so nice to see plants; snow is boring after a while."

"It IS green out here." Alfred said, also looking out the window. "Heeeeeeyyy, you know what else is green? Forks, Washington!"

"Oh God; don't tell me you've been reading those ruddy 'Twilight' books." Arthur groaned.

"I only read the first one and I was done. It wasn't my thing. But seriously; I wouldn't be surprised if a sparkly vampire popped out of the scenery right now!"

"I'm bored." Heracles announced.

"We do have sometime before we reach Mt. Fuji," Kiku said. "Shall we play a game?"

"After what happened on our last trip, I wouldn't recommend it." Arthur said. He sat back in his seat, closed his eyes and sighed. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night as Alfred had watched a scary movie and insisted Arthur stay up until he fell asleep.

"Ve~Why don't we sing some songs then?" Feliciano suggested.

Arthur opened one eye. "As long as you're not too loud."

"Sorry Artie, we're going be loud!" Alfred said. "That's the only way to sing!"

Arthur frowned. "Fuck you." (1)

And so, the world (minus England) began to sing.

"Because when I...ARRIVE...I...I'll bring the fire make you come.... ALIVE!"

"Shut up." Arthur mumbled.

"If you wanna be my lover...you gotta get with my friends!"

"I said shut up!"

"Sine U been gone...I can breath for the first time!"

"Shut the bloody hell up!"

"Ppppoker face Pppoker face!"

"Shut up!"

'Shorty's fire burning on the dance floor! WaaAAAAOOOoooh!"

"I'm going to put a hex on all of you!"

"My humps!"

"SHUT UP!"

"I'm bringing sexy back!"

"Oh I give up."

"I kissed a girl and I liked it!"

"Because of you, I never strayed too far from the sidewalk..."

Arthur suddenly noticed that he was singing in his sleep. He opened his eyes and looked around. The nations were staring at him.

"I didn't know you liked my music Artie." Alfred said, looking very happy.

"It's not a bad song, but your singing..." Francis smirked and put a thumb down.

Arthur turned around in his seat to face him, looking quite pissed off. "SHUT THE F..." (2)

"WE'RE HERE!" Kiku said loudly.

After an hour and a half on the musical bus, the group waited another half hour at the Mt. Fuji visitors' center until Kiku announced that it was their turn to walk up Mt. Fuji.

"We need a good marching song." Denmark said.

"I know one! Maru kaite chikyu~u!" Feliciano started singing.

The rest of the world joined in.

"It's a very musical day isn't it?" Arthur sighed but also started singing.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

After some time, the gang made a stop at the 5th station.

"What happened to the other four?"

"They are not as much fun as the 5th." Kiku said. "Here, there's a gift shop, a restaurant, a shrine..."

"PONY!" Peter screamed, pointing to a group of ponies.

".... and pony rides."

Gilbert hopped onto a pony. "Mush!" he ordered. The horse refused to move.

The gang explored the area a bit.

"I can see the mountain!" Feliciano said, pointing toward a foggy area. "Aww, a cloud got in the way; I can't see it anymore. Oh it moved! I see it again! A cloud blocked it again. I see it! Cloud. Mountain! Another cloud. Mountain!"

This went on for five minutes until Ludwig tapped him in the back of the head.

"Shut up already."

"Sorry..."

Sometime later, the group got onto a bus that took them to the Lake Ashi/Hakone area. A few nations took bathroom breaks while others were more interested in the ice cream booth.

"There are three ice cream flavors:" Kiku pointed to the menu. "Vanilla, green tea and swirl."

"Green tea ice cream?!" Alfred sounded shocked. "Hmm; I guess it makes sense...if there's a coffee flavored ice cream there might as well be a tea flavored one. I'll try it."

A few other nations also tried the ice cream.

"It's really good." Matthew said, grinning.

"It's nice to have ice cream on a hot day." Arthur said.

"This is damn good!" Alfred said, licking his lips.

"¡Si; Muy delicioso!" Cuba agreed.

"I bet this is what Russia tastes like." Ivan thought.

When they had all finished their ice cream, the world nations got onto a bucket shaped sky ride up a nearby mountain. There they viewed sulfur pits. A few nations thought the pits stunk (3) like rotten eggs.

"Ew, it smells like Arthur's cooking!" Feliciano said, wrinkling his nose.

"I think Arthur's food smells worse." Alfred said.

"Come a little closer and say that again." Arthur said in an Ivan-type way, balling a fist.

"There's a gift shop for those who want to avoid the sulfur pits." Kiku pointed out.

The nations with sensitive noses hurried inside and looked at souvenirs until it was time to go.

After riding down the mountain, what appeared to be a motor-operated pirate ship was waiting for them at Lake Ashi

"That brings back memories..." Arthur sighed.

"This is so freakin' awesome!" Alfred said, digressing to a childlike state (4).

"Arr me matey!" Gilbert said in a Jack Sparrow type voice. "Let's sail across the seven seas!"

Ludwig just stared. "..........I'd ask what's wrong with you but I already know the answer."

They sailed across Lake Ashi to the hotel.

"In this hotel there is an onsen; hot springs bathing area."

"I've been in that the last time I visited." Arthur said, smiling. "I made some new friends. Too bad you can't see them..."

"A.... an outdoor bath?" Matthew blushed. "I think I'll pass."

"Come on Mattie!" Alfred put his arm around the Canadian's shoulder. "It'll be fun!"

"Uh, um, ok then." Poor Matthew was too polite to refuse almost anything.

The baths were separated by genders.... which pissed off a few nations.

"Why are we separated~?" Francis whined. "Men and women shouldn't be ashamed of how different their bodies are."

Gilbert shrugged. "I just want to see some T and A."

"Yeah I do too." Francis admitted.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

"Wheee!" Feliciano ran towards to bath.

"You're supposed to wash your body before going in!" Kiku called. "Also don't run; the floor may be..."

Feliciano slipped and fell on his bottom. "Owww! Ludwig!"

".... slippery."

Ludwig sighed and helped his friend up. "How many times do I have to tell you to be more careful?"

As the other nation washed up and chatted, Matthew fidgeted and held on to his towel tightly.

"Something wrong _mon petite_?" Francis said, peering over Matthew's shoulder.

Matthew squeaked. "Uh um, it's just that.... I'm not really c...c...comfortable being naked in front of other people."

"Ah but you have nothing to be embarrassed about; we're all men here."

"I know, but.... but...." His face was red like a maple leaf.

"Hey Mattie, how come you're still wearing a towel?" Alfred tugged on Matthew's towel.

"Alfred! What are you doing, eh?!" Matthew gripped his towel harder, trying to prevent Alfred from pulling it off. "I...I'll take it off when I'm ready!"

Alfred shrugged and walked off. "Suit yourself."

The three Baltic nation stayed close to each other, cowering in fear of Ivan who was watching them like a hawk.

"Feels like home doesn't it Su-san?" Tino said sinking into the water.

Berwald nodded. "Like a sa'na but with w'ter."

"Tickle attack!" Alfred randomly shouted and began to tickle anyone who was in close proximity. Which in this case happened to be the UK.

"Woah WOAH! Watch where you're touching!" Arthur squirmed to get away from him.

"You can't escape!"

"Seriously, watch your hands!! Ha ha ha! Don't go so low!"

Alfred stopped and spun around. "You're next!" He ran towards Matt.

"Eek!" Matt ran off, dropping his towel along the way. Alfred cornered him and tickled away.

"Ah ha ha ha! St…stop Al! Ha ha ha!" Matthew tried to push him away, resulting in both of them falling into the bath. They splashed around, just like when they were kids. Alfred turned his attention to Ivan.

"Think very carefully before you try anything." Ivan said to him.

The American stood still for a moment and went off to find easier prey. "Toris!"

"Ah! No! Ha ha ha!" The Lithuanian was not quick enough.

"Like, I wanna join in!" Feliks also began tickling Toris.

"Ha ha ha! Stop it you guys!! Ha ha ha! I can't handle two at a time!"

This continued for a while. Alfred targeted other nations until he finally became tired and relaxed in the bath.

"Ludwig, I can't help but feel we're being watched." Feliciano said as he hugged him.

"Don't be ridiculous. And what have I old you about hugging me when you're naked?!"

"Ve~! You're naked too!"

"That's not the point"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX

Elizaveta was listening intently to the other side of the wall.

The other girls were not as interested. Liechtenstein was interested in something else. She was trying hard to hide the fact that she was staring at Ukraine but it wasn't working very well.

"Is there something you want?" Ukraine asked her politely.

"I...I was just wondering," she said shyly. "Did you eat something in particular to make them grow to that size? Was it an exercise routine?"

Ukraine immediately knew what she was talking about and blushed. "N...no, it wasn't anything like that. It's just...genetic or something I guess."

"Actually I read somewhere that if you eat lot of pasta you'll get bigger breasts." Belgium said.

"Wait..." Seychelles said slowly. "Considering how much pasta they eat, if the Vargas brothers were the Vargas sisters then..."

The other girls thought about that.

"They'd be the size of basketballs!" Taiwan's mouth dropped open.

"They'd be bigger than basketballs." said Natalia.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX

"Ve~ brother, do you ever get the feeling that people are thinking inappropriate thoughts about us?" Feliciano asked his older brother.

"All the time." Lovino replied, glaring at Antonio who was looking at him in a very Francis sort of way.

Kiku was sitting alone, away from the nations and was singing softly to himself.

"Yuuhi no o-yama ni

teru teru momiji

Kaeru ya tokage ga

konnichi wa." (5)

"And even MORE music." Arthur said to himself as walked past him to get a towel.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX

After a long (slightly musical) day, the nation went off to their rooms and went to bed.

I'm sorry to say that it may be a while before I add a new chapter, as I have to first adjust to college life. But I'll try to update ASAP! Oh, and if you've never tried green tea ice cream, try it! Like Alfred said, it is DAMN good!

(1)True story: On my Washington D.C trip (I forgot to mention this) I got a bad headache right before we were about to go on the bus back to the hotel. I went up to the ringleader of the singers and said politely "Listen, I have a really bad headache so could you guys not sing or at least sing a little quieter tonight?" the guy said "Oh well sorry about your headache but we're gonna be singing real loud." I looked him dead in the eye and said, "Fuck you". You do these kind of things in high school.

(2) True story: DC: On the bus one girl started singing this and the boys started laughing at her and called her lame, jokingly. She shouted "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" It was like the 15th time she'd shouted it on the trip but never at that volume so it was pretty funny.

(3)Bad pun LOL! =D

(4)He always wanted to be a pirate, just like his "big brother".

(5)I'll give you a cookie if you know what this is from.


	5. Japan, Part 4

_Disclaimer-I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers but I do own "Fullmetal Alchemist: Premium OVA Collection" on DVD. Yeah, I know you're jealous._

Japan, Part 4- Don't you think?

Roderich sighed contentedly. He and Elizaveta had escaped from breakfast as quickly as they could, as they were not in the mood for listening to another one of Francis and Arthur's squabbles. They were talking walk around Lake Ashi

"Finally, a moment of peace." He said.

Suddenly, Ivan burst out of nowhere, running quickly, with Natalia in fast pursuit, holding a butter knife.

"Marry me Onii-chan!" (1)

"Nooo! That's incest!"

"So?!"

They continued to run off.

Roderich sighed, this time, annoyed.

"Who am I kidding? Around these people, there's never any peace." (2)

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Once everything had settled down the nations hopped onto a shuttle bus to Odawara station. They drove through the Hakone area…

"It's green here too! Where's the Cullen family?!"

"Shut up you twat."

…and then boarded the Shinkansen.

"In English, that's the Bullet Train." Explained Kiku.

"Woooooooosh! I'm a bullet da ze~" Yong Suu was enjoying himself by spreading out his arms and running up and down the train. Alfred joined him. Yao and Arthur looked at each other as if to say "Why did our little brothers turn out like this?"

After two hours…

"Two hours?! I though this was a bullet train! We should have been there in a two seconds!"

"Do you ever shut your mouth?"

….they arrived at Nagoya station where the tour guide was waiting. She practically waved the Sunrise Tours flag in front of their faces. They boarded another train to Takayama. Along the way, they passed many interesting sights that the tour guide pointed out. She was quite enthusiastic; every time the train passed something remotely interesting she pointed it out and explained as much as she could about it. She also used the phrase "Don't you think?" excessively, often out of context. Alfred and Australia found this funny and, wanting to make it even funnier, decided to play a drinking game with the 12 pack of soda they had brought from a convenience store on the train platform.

"Ok, we take a drink every time she says 'don't you think?'"

"That rhymes! I'm in."

"That mountain is very impressive, don't you think?"

They took a drink.

"That rock looks like Buddha, don't you think?"

Another drink.

"It is a lovely meadow, don't you think?" (3)

Drink.

"Don't you think?"

"No, I don't think." Alfred said under his breath and laughed at his own joke.

"Finally he admits it; he doesn't think." Arthur chuckled at his own joke.

"Hey, who wants to hear me burp the alphabet?!" Alfred asked.

"Not me." Arthur replied.

"I do! I do!" Australia raised his hand.

A few others raised their hands as well, but most did not. Alfred completely ignored them and did it anyway.

"A…B…C.."

Arthur wrinkled his nose. "You are disgusting."

"For once, I agree with you." Francis replied.

"How barbaric." Roderich turned to face a way from Alfred.

After "Z!" Alfred looked over at Matthew and Cuba, who were sitting together. Matthew must have been tired, as he had fallen asleep on Cuba's shoulder. Cuba looked as though he was conflicted; it looked like he was uncomfortable but at the same time it looked like he wanted the Canadian to stay asleep on his shoulder. It also appeared that his hand was on his thigh. Alfred turned to Australia.

"Do you think they're, ya know…." He whispered.

Australia shrugged. "Dunno, mate. But they'd make a cute couple…don't you think?!"

They laughed for a while then abruptly stopped.

"Mate, I gotta pee like a bugger."

"Me too." Alfred fidgeted in his seat." Are we there yet?!"

"Serves you right." Arthur mumbled.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

The nations arrived in Takayama and checked into their hotel (Alfred and Australia made a mad dash for the bathroom). They put their luggage in their rooms and hurried back down the lobby for the rest of the tour. The next destination was the Kusakabe folk craft museum. Before entering, Ludwig pulled Gilbert and Feliciano close to his face by their shirt collars.

"Eeep!" Feliciano squeaked.

"Remember you two: You break it, you buy it."

"Yeah yeah," Gilbert huffed. "Geez West, don't you have any faith in me?"

"No."

Gilbert didn't seem to hear him as he was busy ranting. "And besides, I'm your older brother, not the other way around. I should be telling YOU how to behave."

"And yet you're the one who causes the trouble."

"Don't worry Ludwig," said Feliciano. "I promise to be careful."

Two seconds later

"Hey what's this thing?" *Crash* "Oops…"

Ludwig sighed. "I should have expected this…:

"I'm sorry! It was an accident! I…I…!"

Ludwig sighed again and pulled out his wallet. "It's ok."

"Hey West! Catch!" Gilbert threw what looked like a very fragile object threw the air towards Ludwig. Luckily he was able to catch it just in time. Gilbert laughed as Ludwig stood up and put the object down.

"East," he said slowly.

"Uh oh."

Gilbert was out of the store in a flash.

"I'm still awesome!"

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Afterwards, the tour guide hurried everyone along the group along to area's most prominent shrine. He shrine also had a museum staffed by mikos. (4) Gilbert, Francis and the Vargas brother tried to hit on them but Kiku quickly stopped them.

"Please leave these poor girls alone."

"But they're so pretty!" Feliciano argued.

"He's right; it would be a crime to miss out on this opportunity." Francis said.

"A crime?" Kiku looked confused.

"Yes, a crime of passion!"

Arthur and Kiku face palmed simultaneously.

XxxxxxXxxxxX

The shrine also had floats from the town's biggest festival on display. Gilbert began to approach them put was quickly yanked back by the back of his shirt collar by Ludwig.

"What?! I was just going to get a closer look!"

"I'm not taking any chances."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

Next, the nations went out to dinner. The food was prepared right in front of them.

"Just like Benihana's!" Alfred commented. "Don't you think?!"

After a delicious meal, they headed back to the hotel. Some explored the souvenir shop, some got ice cream, some watched TV, and some chased other nations around the hotel (*cough*Ivan*cough*). After all their activities, they went to bed.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1)Big brother

(2)Borrowed this from the stage production of _You're a good man, Charlie Brown_.

(3) I don't know if there are meadows in Japan. Oh well, creative licensing without any knowledge of geography!!

(4)Shrine maidens, priestesses.


	6. Japan, Part 5

_Disclaimer-I own a few things, none of these things are Hetalia: Axis Powers. _

Japan, Part 5- 50% fun, 50% insane, 100% Hetalia.

Morning arrived, a bit too early for Alfred who had stayed up late to play video games.

"I don't wanna wake up yet!" he whined as Arthur shook him. "Five more minutes!"

"Get up you git, we have the world meeting today!"

"Five more minutes!" he shoved Arthur away while still keeping his eyes closed.

Francis sighed. "You're not using the right method, Arthur dear." He sauntered to the sleeping American. "If really insist on staying in bed _mon cheri_, I'll suppose I'll just have to crawl in with you~" he whispered into his ear and kissed his cheek.

Alfred shot up as fast as lightning and landed about a foot away from the bed.

"I'm up! I'm up!"

Francis chuckled. "Works every time."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Before the meeting was to begin, there were still a few more things to see on the tour. While crossing over a bridge into the town, Feliciano noticed that there were fish in the river.

"Look! Koi! Koi!"

"Actually, they are called **carp**." The tour guide explained. ""Koi" means "love", as well as "ai"."

Jokingly, he still said, "Koi. Koi. Koi."

"Oh, get a room!" the tour guide said jokingly.

A few nations laughed.

"Feliciano and a fish, swimming in the sea, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Peter skipped around him, singing.

"Ve! Ve! I'm not in love with a fish!"

"How does one mate with a fish anyway?" Ivan wondered allowed.

"I'd rather not think about that aru." Yao said.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

In town, the nations saw a few more sights, did a little shopping and then hopped on to a few vans to a field two sakura(1) trees. The guide explained the history of the trees and the lake nearby.

"There originally was a town here but the government needed to clear it for a manmade lake to provide electricity; the owner of the electric company that would benefit wanted to save the two trees that grew in front of a Buddhist temple and moved them to higher ground where they wouldn't be swept away."

Yao sighed. "How sad aru. Why are people always doing things like that: destroying something good to replace it with new technology aru?"

"At least the trees were spared." Hong Kong said.

They went into the company's main building and watched a video of the story of the trees. It was here that they held the meeting when the video was over.

It was a normal meeting; 5% of the meeting consisted of actual discussion of the world's problems, 10% consisted of arguing, 20% consisted of random screaming, 40% consisted of Alfred suggesting some weird solution to the world's problems 3% consisted of Francis trying to hit on people, 1% consisted of napping, 1% consisted of snacking, 10% consisted Ivan being creepy, of 5% consisted of random dancing and singing, and the last 5% consisted of natural fruit juice.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX

At the end of the meeting the nations toured a house/museum and had a picnic lunch at the top of a hill.

"This isn't a picnic." Alfred said out of nowhere at one point. "Where are the idiotic hermaphrodites and Queen Latifah's third cousin?" (2)

Arthur shuddered. "Don't you EVER mention that again." He said as he took another bite out of his onigiri.(3)

XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxX

After lunch the nations went to Shirokawago, a town where 90% of the town were in the traditional Japanese style.

Ludwig once again grabbed Gilbert and Feliciano by the front of their shirt collars.

"I'm warning you…" He said threateningly.

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "I won't do anything destructive, I promise." He leaned against the wall of one of the homes. "Besides, I'm awesome and because bad things never happen to awesome people, what could go wrong?"

A cracking noise was heard and his arm went though the wall.

There was a long period of silence.

Gilbert slowly pulled his arm out of the wall, which now had a rather large hole in it.

"My awesomeness must be a little off today."

Ludwig face palmed. "You're ALWAYS a little 'off.'"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

They checked in at their hotel in Kanazawa. Not too long after wards, the nations began to get hungry. The guide showed them places where they could get dinner at the mall built into the train station, eventually stopping at a sushi place. A few nations went in but others declined.

"I'm not so keen on eating RAW fish." Roderich said.

Those who had no sense of adventure ate elsewhere. After dinner everyone headed back to the hotel and went to bed.

XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"Psst! Ludwig! Are you awake?"

Ludwig rubbed his eyes and grumbled. "It's the middle of the night, what do you want?"

"Are you proud of me? I didn't break anything today."

He sighed, exasperated. "Yes, I'm proud of you. Now go back to sleep."

Feliciano smiled, closed his eyes and hugged him. "Goodnight!"

XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1)Cherry blossom

(2)For reference, see "The Hetalia cast goes to Washington D.C." Wow, I'm promoting my own fanfiction….in another one of my own fanfictions no less! Does that make me conceited?

(3)Rice ball


	7. Japan, Part 6

I played this game during my college orientation. Hoo boy; if you don't know college humor, you're in for it!

_Disclaimer-I own nadda._

Japan, Part 6- I like cleaning because….

Alfred was quicker to get up that morning; he didn't want a repeat of yesterday. Francis looked a little disappointed.

The first stop was Gokayama, where they watched a paper making process. A few nations attempted to make origami out of the newly made paper…many of them failed. The Asian nations and Feliciano were successful.

"Ve~Look Ludwig! I made you a paper flower!" He held it up to him.

"Thank you." Ludwig smiled at him.

"Look Aniki! I made you and me hugging da ze!" Yong Suu shoved the origami into Yao's hands. "By the way origami originated in Korea…"

Yao just stared at the origami. "Hugging? It looks like you're molesting me aru."

"What else would I be doing?"

"Nihon-san," Taiwan said. "I made a crane for you."

Kiku grinned. "Thank you."

"Check it out Artie!" Alfred said. "I made an airplane!"

"…..it looks like a cross between a dog and a giraffe."

Alfred looked hurt.

Arthur frowned, concerned. "Oh! Now that I look at it more closely I see it really is an airplane. Silly me!"

Alfred smiled.

XxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Next was a tour of a ceramics factory. The nations were allowed to each make something. Lovino tried but it was difficult for him. He groaned in frustration.

"Dammit! Why can't I get this right?"

"I can help you Lovino." Antonio walked up behind him. "I'm good at pottery." He slid his hands down Lovino's arms slowly. "See you do it like this…"

Lovino tensed up and shivered. "G…get off me you bastard!" He shoved him off, blushing furiously.

Alfred said something about a ghost. (1)

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Next was a tour of a gold leaf shop. Alfred held up one of the gold pieces of paper and waved it around in the air.

"I get to go to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory!"

"Chocolate factory?!" Belgium practically screeched. "Give me that!" She tried to grab it out of his hands but Alfred dogged her. This went on for about a minute until Kiku pointed out that it was not a golden ticket, it was in fact just a gold piece of paper, and that they should stop acting like children. Belgium turned red and apologized.

"But I wanna get Everlasting Gobstoppers." Alfred grumbled.

"Do they really last forever, mate?" Australia asked.

'Hell yeah! You can suck on them for hours and they don't lose their flavor."

Francis looked like he was about to say something but Arthur quickly slapped him.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The nations stopped at a dango (2) shop for a snack. Elizaveta put the sticks of dango on top of both sides of her hair and pulled her hair into pigtails.

"Guess who I am!" she said.

"Ah! Tsukino Usagi desu!" Kiku said.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Train ride.

"Anyone up for a game?" Alfred said. "It's not the picnic game, I promise."

"What is it?"

"It's called the cleaning game. We all go around once and say why we like or hate cleaning."

Francis looked at him knowingly. "Hmm, I think I know this game~."

"That sounds boring!" Lovino said.

"What kind of game is that?" Vash asked.

"Sounds simple." Arthur said. "Too simple. What's the catch?"

"You'll see. I won't say anything until after everyone has had a turn."

"I have a bad feeling about this…"

"I'll go first: I like cleaning cuz I've heard I'm really good at it."

"Darn Alfred, you took my answer!" Francis pouted.

"…..confusing." Arthur said. "I like cleaning because I like things to be organized and put in their proper place."

"I don't like cleaning because it's a lot of work." Heracles said.

"I don't like cleaning because I don't like to get dirty." Yong Suu said.

"I don't like cleaning because it's boring." Lovino said.

"I like cleaning because everything is nice and neat afterwards." Roderich said.

"I like cleaning because it makes everything look nicer and smells nicer." Elizaveta said.

"I don't like cleaning because it takes too long." Ivan said.

"I like cleaning because it relaxes me." Ludwig said.

"I like cleaning because it's almost like getting a work out aru." Yao said.

"I like cleaning because it gives people a good impression of the kind of person I am: neat and tidy." Vash said.

"I like cleaning because I always get compliments from people that I've done a good job." Francis said.

"I don't like cleaning because I'd rater be doing something else; something that's fun." Feliciano said.

"I like cleaning because I don't like messes." Kiku said.

"Ok, now what?"

"Well, now we go around and say the same exact thing we just said but replace "cleaning" with "sex"!"

Well, that was when the protests started.

"You've GOT to be kidding me!"

"Alfred!"

"I've never even had sex!"

Alfred laughed. "You all agreed to play!"

"I didn't know it was going to be like this!"

"Too late! So, I'll begin again; I like sex cuz I've heard I'm really good at it."

"Now I get it." Arthur sighed. "Damn, it's my turn…" he turned red. "I like sex because…I like things to be organized and put in their proper place."

Alfred snickered at "proper place."

"I don't like sex because it's a lot of work." Heracles said.

"I don't like sex because I don't like to get dirty." Yong Suu said.

"I don't like sex because it's boring." Lovino said.

"I like sex because everything is nice and neat afterwards." Roderich said.

"I like sex because it makes everything look nicer and smells nicer." Elizaveta said.

"I don't like sex because it takes too long." Ivan said.

"I like sex because it relaxes me." Ludwig said.

"I like sex because it's almost like getting a work out aru." Yao said.

"I like sex because it gives people a good impression of the kind of person I am: neat and tidy." Vash said.

"I like sex because I always get compliments from people that I've done a good job." Francis said.

"I don't like sex because I'd rater be doing something else; something that's fun." Feliciano said.

"I like sex because I don't like messes." Kiku said.

The game was over. Several nations had red faces. Alfred and Francis were laughing hysterically.

"That was so embarrassing!" Kiku said.

"But truthful," Francis pointed out. "It works either way, cleaning and sex."

"I don't think I'll ever be able to clean my house again." Roderich shuddered.

XxxxxxXxxxxX

After the (awkward) train ride, the nations arrived in Kyoto. They checked into the Karasuma Kyoto Hotel. Hunger set in. In the restaurant at the hotel, the first opening theme for "Fullmetal Alchemist 2: Brotherhood." was playing. Kiku sang along to it.

After dinner, everyone went to bed.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

(1)One of my favorite movies

(2)A dumpling made from rice flour.


	8. Japan, Part 7

Thank you very much to MinneLuna-san who suggested the idea for an anime con. Also, thank you very much to Alana-kittychan-san for sending me some good ideas (I write about more later, I promise!) And of course, thank you very much to Cardcaptor Ryoko-san for telling me all about her trip to Japan. I know I write some disturbing stuff sometimes…I'm sorry.

_Disclaimer-I am a college student, not the creator of Hetalia: Axis Powers. _

Japan, Part 7- The happy(?) couple and breaking the fourth wall part II

**The night before, after dinner.**

"Veeee~! Pleeeease Ludwig, can I have a quarter?"

"No."

"Vee~! But why not?!"

"I spent $50 dollars on the vase you broke three days ago."

"But it's just a quarter!"

Ludwig face palmed and sighed. Just outside the hotel there was a small vending machine with little prizes in it. Feliciano was currently begging for a quarter.

"Pleeeeeaaaseeee!"

Ludwig tried to look away but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't ignore the little Italian's puppy dog eyes.

"…….oh fine! If it's only one quarter…" he took out his wallet.

"Ya hoo! Thank you thank you thank you!" Feliciano gave him a kiss on the cheek for every thank you.

"Ju...just take it already and get your toy!" Ludwig placed the coin in his hand and pushed him off, red in the face.

Feliciano got a ring with a little red heart. "Look! It's tomato colored!" he said happily. He skipped off to his hotel room with Ludwig in tow.

**The next morning, after breakfast.**

"Onii-chan, could I please have a quarter?" Liechtenstein asked Vash.

Vash smiled. He was glad he had such a polite little sister. "Of course. Here you go."

"Thank you." She said, smiling.

Liechtenstein got a double prize, a pink flower hairclip and a ring with a little red heart. She looked a little surprised.

"Onii-chan, since you gave me the quarter I want you to have this." She handed him the ring.

"No, it's your prize. You keep it."

"I insist."

Vash hesitated but put on the ring. Between the pink pajamas and the ring, he was certain his sister was trying to turn him into a girl.

On the tour bus, Vash and Feliciano sat down next to each other. The both noticed that they were wearing the same ring. Gilbert also noticed this, unfortunately.

"Heeey; does this mean you two are married?!"

"Veee?!"

"What?!" Vash shouted. "No, of course not!"

Gilbert smirked. "I don't know…you're wearing the same ring, you're sitting next to each other, you've got the look of a husband and wife on their honeymoon…"

Vash stood up. "Shut your mouth or you'll have it riddled with bullet holes!"

Gilbert stuck out his tongue but sat down. Vash plopped down as well and turned to Ludwig. "Are you sure you two are related?"

"I ask myself that everyday."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

The nations visited several sites that day, including a prominent Buddhist temple, Nijo Castle, and the Golden Pavilion. They also went to the Kyoto handicraft center where the girls tried on kimono and geta (1). While they modeled them for each other and their friends, Francis and Gilbert watched behind a tree.

"Japan makes goooood things." Gilbert said, thoroughly enjoying the way the fabric stuck to Elizaveta's legs.

"I think I'll make kimono a fashion trend back at home~." Francis said, staring at Ukraine, whose large breasts barely fit into her kimono.

"Onii-chan, do I look pretty?" Natalia asked Ivan.

"Yes you do." Ivan grinned at his little sister.

"**Pretty enough to make you want to marry me?"**

"…..I…..uh……….Oh my God what are Francis and Gilbert doing over there?!" he pointed to the tree where the perverts were hiding.

That day, two members of the Bad-Touch Trio felt the wrath of Elizaveta's shoes.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The next stop was Akihabara, which just so happened to be hosting an anime con at the time.

"Woooooaaah!" Alfred had the look of a child in a candy store. "Hey Artie, look look look!" he ditched his bomber jacket for a long red coat that a dear was selling. "Ok, no picture me with black clothes and a braided ponytail and no glasses and shorter than I am: Who am I?!"

"…an idiot."

"_Non_ Arthur," Francis said. "He asked you 'who' he is not 'what' he is."

"I heard that!" Alfred pointed at Francis. "Take this Frenchie!" he clapped his hands together and dropped to the ground. "Dammit! My alchemy won't work!"

"Well of course not you twit." Arthur walked over to him. "You need to draw a transmutation circle first. Plus, you haven't had any training. And besides, didn't you even watch the movie? You can't do alchemy in this….world…" he suddenly realized that he had said too much.

A smile slowly formed on Alfred's face. "So you watch it too! Ha! The stuffy, serious, 'mature' Englishman likes Fullme…" Arthur covered Alfred's mouth with his hand.

"You tell anyone about this and I won't let the last two Harry Potter movies be released in the U.S."

Alfred shut up.

Francis had lost interest in the two and had found 3 girls in skimpy maid outfits.

"Your toy looks like fun." Ivan said to a purple-haired girl with a halo around her head, holding a spiked club. "Where can I buy it?"

Heracles bought an orange cat with a pissed off look on its face. "Kiku, neko-san…"

Kiku nodded approvingly. "Kawaii desu."

"Ve! Ludwig look!" Feliciano held up a doujinshi. "It's us! We're on the cover of this book!" he looked at the cover a little closer. "……what are we doing? Wait a minute…" he leafed through a few pages. "*gasp*We're doing the things I see those people do in the magazines you have at home!!"

Upon hearing this, Berwald quickly grabbed Peter by the arm.

"D'n't touch an'thing 'nless I tell y'u it's safe."

"I'll keep and eye on him too Su-san." Said Tino, taking hold of Peter's other arm.

"Hey! Stop treating me like a little kid desu yo!"

"You are a little kid." The adult replied simultaneously.

"That goes for you too." Ludwig said as he grabbed the doujinshi out of his friend's hands, put it back on the desk and started pushing him away from the booth. Elizaveta bought the doujinshi 5 seconds after they left. "Ok I'll take this"

"Ok, plastic bag?" The salesperson said.

Elizaveta already had a shopping bag from other purchases of yaoi doujinshi. "No, thank you."

"Is Ok?"

"Is Ok."

"Receipt?"

"Yes please."

"Plastic bag?"

"………no, thank you."

"Is Ok?"

"Is Ok."

"Hey Artie! Hey Artie!" Alfred called out to Arthur once more.

Arthur sighed. "Now what do you want?" he turned to where Alfred's voice was coming from. He saw Alfred and Matthew wearing matching outfits: black pants, white button up shirts, blue coats with a symbol on them and black ties with a stripe of purple. Both were wearing hats that covered their hair. In fact, they hats worked so well that Arthur couldn't tell them apart.

"We're gonna play a game." said one of the North American Brothers. "It's called…" The brothers spoke in unison: "The Which One is Canada and Which One is America Game!"

"Guess which is which!"

"Uhhh," Arthur stared at them for a long time, looking back and forth between one and the other. "Ok, um…..the one on the left is…..America?"

"Ha!" the one on the right removed his hat, revealing himself to be Alfred. "You lose! We win!"

"You don't recognize me either, Arthur?" Matthew said sadly.

"Hey Artie, is this what your "friends" look like?" Alfred didn't notice his brother's sadness and had walked over to a booth with figurines. He held up a pink haired figure in a white, poufy dress with fairy wings.

"Some of them yes." Arthur said, not really thinking about what he was being asked.

"How about this?" Alfred held up another figure with long blonde hair, a white dress and matching cap and elf-like ears.

"Some, yes. Wait a moment…Alfred, you know they're real right?"

"Yeah sure, whatever you say."

"I mean it!!!"

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

The nations continued their day at the con, buying hats with cat ears, figurines, plushies and, for reasons they couldn't understand, they were asked several times to have their pictures taken with other cosplayers. They could have swore they were seeing double as they saw some people dressed up like them!

"That's because everyone wants to be an awesome hero like me!" Alfred said, pointing to himself.

"Or like me!" Gilbert pointed to himself.

"I saw myself a few times." Matthew said quietly. "I'm really happy there are people who know I exist…"

Meanwhile Ivan sat in the back of the bus swinging his new toy, the spiked club, around through the air singing, "Pi piru piru piru piru pi piru pi~"

XxxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1)Wooden sandals


	9. Japan, Part 8

_Disclaimer- I don't own this, despite what you may have heard. _

Japan, Part 8- Breaking the fourth wall part III and hugs.

"Yao, you do realize that the show you're watching is for young children right?" Arthur asked.

"Shut up aru! I don't care aru!"

It was morning and Yao was staring at the hotel TV, fixated by a kid's television show about learning basic Chinese being hosted by a giant talking panda.

"As if their own language wasn't hard enough to learn." Alfred said.

"If Kiku heard that I think you'd be dead right now." Francis commented.

"Would you all please shut up aru?!" He scoffed at the TV. "That's the wrong pronunciation aru. And now it's being used in the wrong context aru. At least Panda-chan is cute aru…"

After the show Yao continued to watch TV and Alfred joined him. The next show was "Yatterman", a children's anime. It was very strange and quite tasteless.

"I'm done with this," Yao said, changing the channel. "My cheesy meter just broke aru."

"Your cheesy meter broke just now?" Alfred said. "Mine broke the minute you turned that show on!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

After breakfast the nations got ready for their transfer to another hotel in Gion Yoshiima area of Kyoto called the Yoshiima Ryokan (1), or as many of the nations would later call it, "the motel 6 from hell". When they arrived they found out that check out was at four o'clock. It was currently noon.

"What are we supposed to do until then?" Alfred whined. "I don't wanna sit in the lounge all day! That's boring!!"

Arthur sighed. "I tried to raise him to be a gentleman. Where did I go wrong?"

"We could all walk around the city and look at the sights." Kiku suggested.

During the walk, Gilbert found an interesting "sight. He poked Francis. "Check it out;" he pointed to a group of high school aged girls, a perverted grin on his face. "School girls in _uniform_."

"I officially love Japan!" Francis announced.

"They're going to school on a SUNDAY?!" Alfred was in shock. "Those poor kids!" He then posed heroically. "I'm going to put an end to it! I'm going to save their weekends!"

"You will do no such thing." Kiku frowned at him. "This is my country and I make the laws. Besides, Japanese students have higher grades than your country's students. (2) Perhaps you should rethink _your_ country's laws."

"Hey look! A dango shop!" Alfred completely ignored him.

The group stopped for a dango snack. Toris noticed that a girl was looking at them. She was short, was wearing glasses and had curly, mousy, light brown hair. She wore normal clothes, a gold bell around her neck on a red ribbon and an oval-shaped gold pendant. She looked as though she was giving much thought and consideration to something. After sometime, she walked up to him. Up close, he saw that her eyes were a greenish-blue color.

"Um, e…excuse me, f…forgive my rudeness for asking but, are you and your friends cosplayers?" she asked.

"It's not rude at all." Toris responded with a smile. "Cosplayers? Us? No. But we saw quite a lot of them yesterday."

"Then…are you who I think you are?!" Her eyes widened with excitement.

"If you think I'm a hero then yes!" Alfred suddenly appeared and posed and smiled heroically.

The girl's eyes became even wider and so did her smile. "So it's really you!!" she said. "If that's the case them, Um, if you don't mind, can I please get a picture of you? Er no, actually could I hug you? Ah no no! That's too personal, a picture yes. No, a hug. Picture! Hug! Picture!" The girl seemed to be trying to decide which one she wanted and was starting to spaz a bit. She took a deep breath. "Picture, yes. Can I get a picture please?"

The nations agreed, though a few were a little confused. Gilbert was among those who weren't.

"I'm not surprised. Anyone would be lucky just to have a picture of awesome me!"

The group made funny faces and poses as the camera flashed.

"I'll give you a hug too!" Feliciano hugged the girl. This seemed to make her very happy.

"Ryoko sweetie," An elderly couple, a man and a woman, approached the group. "We need to get going." The woman said.

"Ok Grandma," he girl looked quite despondent but walked off with the couple. "Good bye! Thanks for the picture."

"Hold on, just one question!" Toris called to her. "Who do you think we are?"

"Oh, you don't know? You're the characters from a web manga/ web anime called **Hetalia: Axis Powers ®.** You're the personified anthropomorphizations of the world nations!" she shouted out and then disappeared as she turned a corner.

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Well, this is a very interesting revelation." Eduard scratched his head.

"I'm a manga character?" Toris said. "I thought I was a human."

"Me too." said Alfred. "I mean, I look like a person, I act like a person, I talk like a person…"

"Like an _annoying_ person." Arthur said under his breath.

"How can I be a cartoon character if I act and look like a person?"

"Ve, Ludwig, I thought you told me that cartoon characters weren't real." Feliciano said to the aforementioned person.

"I used to think they couldn't, but now I don't know anymore." Ludwig looked extremely shocked. "My world has been turned upside down."

"Mate, according to what she said, we ARE the world!" Australia said.

Alfred started singing "We are the world."

"Oh shut up you git!" Arthur snapped. "Can't you take anything seriously?!"

"Hey, I'm just as upset as you are!"

"I don't know what's real anymore!" Tino shouted, holding his head in his hands.

"How can we be here if we're not real?" Lovino wondered aloud. "Unless, this world is not real. But wait, if it's not real how can we be here? Gaah! My brain's going to explode!"

"Please calm down aru." Yao said in a concerned way. "It's not that horrible aru." He and Ivan were the only ones who didn't appear distraught.

"What's wrong with you too?" asked Francis. "You don't find this disturbing?"

"I already knew this." Ivan said calmly.

"You did?!"

He nodded. "**I can see the Himaruya through the paper**…"

Everyone took a step back away from him.

"He's more powerful than we thought." Eduard shivered and held a frightened Raivis close.

"I also knew this aru." Yao said matter-of-factly.

"You too?!" Taiwan looked at him in shock.

"Of course aru. Himaruya-san made me over 4000 years old and in doing so made me quite powerful aru."

"Like, who is this Himaruya guy?" Feliks asked.

"Our creator aru."

"His name sounds Japanese." Kiku realized. "Hold on…this means he's probably here!!"

"Ok then everyone!" Alfred stood up on a bus bench. "Here's what we're going to do: We've got to find this Himaruya dude! Somebody find a phone book and…does that sign say Free Hugs?"

Alfred had become distracted. The other nations all turned to see what he was looking at. There were a few young men standing on a Japanese style bridge, holding a sign that said "FREE HUGS" in English.

"Ve~ free hugs!" Feliciano ran over to the men and hugged each one of them.

"Doesn't that seem dangerous?" Roderich asked Ludwig. "I mean, we don't even no who they are and he just runs up and hugs them."

Ludwig shrugged. "They're giving away free hugs. They don't seem bad to me."

"Yeah, but why?"

He shrugged again. "To spread happiness and cheer?"

"…………You know, I think you might be right."

"I want a free hug too desu yo!" Peter followed Feliciano's suit, with his "parents" running after him.

The others also followed them to the bridge. A few more people decided to get a free hug. Francis groped his hugger. There was another man standing there with a box of kittens for sale. Kiku bought two, Heracles bought five.

"I forgot, what were we upset about?" Heracles asked Kiku as he snuggled with his new pals.

"I don't remember." He replied.

Everyone seemed to have forgotten why they were distraught as well.

"Good, it's better if they don't know aru." Yao whispered to Ivan. "It would be too difficult to explain how our universe works."

"**Yes, it is better to keep them oblivious**." Ivan gave him a creepy smile. "**Much better…**"

XxxxxxXxxxxX

The gang continued to walk around the city, searching for something entertaining. They walked through a shopping center, but there was nothing interesting there or any people with a Free Hugs sign. After some more walking they found another hotel and relaxed in the lobby. But there was nothing to do in there either, expect buy every single packet of Bugles ® from the vending machines. So, onward they went. By then it was lunchtime and the Bugles ® had all been eaten so everyone was hungry again. They found a small family-owned restaurant. They dined on moist, spongy mini-bun things. Not even Kiku knew what it was but he guessed it might've been a type of tofu. There were tiny little dried-out fish on the rice. Peter just stared at them.

"I'm not eating this desu yo. It still has eyes!"

"'s good though." Berwald said, putting another into his mouth.

Peter looked as though he was about to throw up.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

"Finally!" Alfred cheered.

Indeed, the time had finally come for the nations to check in. Once they reached the hotel they saw the girl again, standing with the couple across the lobby. She smiled and waved shyly at them. The woman she had called "Grandma" before nudged her and seemed to be motioning her to go over to the group. The girl shook her head. The woman spoke to her but the nations couldn't make out what she was saying. The girl appeared to sigh and then walked over to the group.

"H…hello again." She said.

"Hello." Toris smiled. "Are you on vacation?"

"Yes, with my grandparents."

"What country are you from?"

"America."

"All right!" Alfred appeared once again and gave her a thumbs up. "Land of the free, home of the brave and all that jazz!"

The girl talked a bit more with all the nations, especially Toris, becoming less shy every minute.

"Hey, um, can I glomp you?" she asked at one point.

"Sure." Toris said.

The girl did just that.

"I feel so loved!" Toris said happily.

"Hey, can you give your home country a hug too?" asked Alfred.

The girl did, as well as other nations who wanted hugs. The girl's grandparents came over.

"I know we told you to not be so shy but this is a little…" they said, their faces a bit red.

"You don't understand what it's like to be a fangirl!!!" she replied.

After a few more hugs she said goodbye and went off with her grandparents. The nations went up to their rooms as well. As few decided to channel surf and at the time the 11th episode of "Fullmetal Alchemist 2: Brotherhood" was airing, much to the delight of several nations.

"You shouldn't sit so close to the TV, it's bad for your eyes." Ukraine said to Elizaveta and Belgium.

"But how else am I going to see Edward up close?" Elizaveta squealed as Ed came onto screen again.

Belgium sighed and shook her. "Outsiders will never understand our fandom."

Shortly after the episode ended one of the maids called, Hariko-san, came in with dinner, consisting of sashimi, shrimp and vegetable tempura, fish that looked like an anchovies, some kind of cream-cheese type thing that was formed in the shape of a cherry, rice, and soup. For dessert there was biwa (3).

After dinner it was time for bed. The beds were Japanese style futons that some nations found comfortable but others did not.

"What's in these things, beads?" Lovino asked, shaking the futon. It made a sound like a maraca.

"Probably rice..." Roderich guessed.

"Great. We're sleeping on the floor with rice sacks in pillowcases." The Italian said sarcastically. "Just watch, in the morning I'll think I'm a samurai and reach out around this thing for a sword."

"I have a feeling that if Kiku heard you say that you'd be dead right now." Vash told him.

"I don't give a damn! Look, the only modern conveniences we have here are the AC, the TV, and a high tech toilet. The bath is old-fashioned and I know I'm not going to be able to sleep on this thing." He kicked his futon.

He fell asleep two seconds after his head hit the pillow.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

(1) Ryokan-A traditional Japanese inn.

(2) I'm not trying to diss any American students (I am one!), I'm just stating the facts! Don't kill me please!!!

(3) Loquat

If you haven't heard China's version of Marukaite chikyuu, go listen to it on YouTube now! He's so cute!! 3 3


	10. JapanPart 9

_Disclaimer-I highly doubt that I own Hetalia. _

Japan part 9- Samurais and Sukiyaki

Early the next morning, Gilbert ran to catch up to Ivan and Yao as they walked around the hotel garden, discussing trade policies. He put his arms around their shoulders (well, as close to Ivan's shoulder's as he could reach), surprising them. Yao squeaked, Ivan merely looked mildly shocked.

"Soooo, you guys knew the truth of our existence too huh?" he asked them.

"You were aware of it as well aru?!"

Gilbert grinned. "I'm way too awesome to not know!"

Yao put a finger to his lips. "Don't say a word to the others aru."

"I haven't yet. You can count on me!"

Ivan smiled and pulled the two into a hug. "We all share the same secret. It's like we're in a club."

"Yeah; the Awesome Club!"

Ivan nodded. "And us club members must always stick together. **ALWAYS.**"

Yao nodded vigorously. "Yes, always aru." He laughed nervously and whispered to Gilbert, "Just smile and nod aru."

Gilbert did and Ivan released the two.

XxxxxxXxxxxX

The next activity was Toei Movieland Studios in Kyoto.

"Dude, it's just like the Warner Brothers studio!" Alfred noted as they walked around the sets. "Kiku, you stole my architecture idea too!"

Kiku looked flustered and blushed. "I…I didn't steal your idea. I merely tried to emulate your studios. I'm sorry if I offended you."

"Don't worry about it, no prob man." Alfred grinned and slapped him on the back.

"Itai," (1) Kiku winced. "Please don't do that."

The group continued to tour the studio. The tour guide Mayumi-san explained how certain special effects worked. Ludwig had to pull Gilbert away from the explosives. A little while later they went into the amphitheater for a samurai skit-show. There was even audience participation.

"Lovino, you claimed you'd turn into a samurai after sleeping on the futon." Vash turned to him and said. Well, you did fall asleep so, go on, join them."

Lovino looked at him angrily but then seemed to think it over. "You know what, I think I will."

With that, he jumped onto the stage.

"Ah, so we have a volunteer." One of the performers said. "What's your name?"

"Mito Komon." He replied sarcastically. "Now let's fight!"

The battle ragged on for quite some time, but eventually the samurai in the skit won. Lovino dragged his feet back to his seat.

"Obviously I need to sleep on that futon some more. My transformation to samurai is not complete."

XxxxxxXxxxxX

Next was the museum with old movie posters from all over the world.

"Whoa! Check it out!" Alfred ran around looking at all the movies from America. "Casablanca! Gone with the Wind!" (2)

"…Which are all based off original stories from Korea!!" Youg Soo shouted out.

"……" Yao sighed. "I give up aru."

XxxxxxXxxxxX

Ice cream at the café in the souvenir followed soon after. Even Mayumi-san joined them. She and Elizaveta had become friends and talked about yaoi. After ice cream and buying candy, they hoped into cabs headed back to the Ryokan. Some drama erupted in the Allies cab…

The driver dropped them off two streets before their stop.

"Uh, excuse me. We still need two more streets." Arthur said.

"No, you specifically said here."

"Well we made a mistake."

"No, it's here."

"No, it's two more streets."

"No, here."

"No, two more streets."

"Here."

"Two more streets."

"Here!"

"Two more streets!"

"HERE!"

"TWO MORE STREETS!"

This went on for five minuets. Eventually Arthur won the argument.

"I've said it before, I'll say it again: Never mess with the Empire on which the sun never sets."

XxxxxXxxxxX

The nation chilled in their rooms for a bit until the hotel maids brought in dinner. To their surprise they brought in a big plate of raw food, put a hibachi in the middle of the table, and cooked the food right there.

Alfred-"Like Benihanas!"

Arthur-"Are you obsessed with this restaurant or something?"

Now Sukiyaki, as the dish they were making is called, consists mainly of sliced beef and mixed vegetables - but there was a catch that they didn't know about until she asked them if they liked eggs. She cracked one egg into each of three saucers, handed them to the guests, and said that was what they were to take the food from the hibachi and eat it in. Of course she mixed the egg up a little so it wasn't just the yolk sitting there intact, but still... the egg was raw except for what little of it might've gotten cooked by adding the hot food. It actually was very good…

"Though this goes against everything I've been taught in food safety." Feliciano noted.

So after they finished dinner they were given melon for dessert. Once that was over with they changed into their sleepwear, watched a bit of TV; some nations found a program that apparently was about pets - mainly cats (Heracles was transfixed to the screen), and eventually went to bed.

"I will become a samurai!"

"If you don't want your head to be riddled with bullets shut up and go to sleep!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

(1)Ow or That hurts

(2) I only know American movies. I'm so pathetic!


	11. Japan, Part 10

Once again, thank you to Cardcaptor Ryoko-san for telling me all about her trip to Japan! Alana-kittychan-san, for being a loyal fan you and your friend get a cameo too!

_Disclaimer- I. Own. Nothing. _

Japan, part 10- The end (?)

The next morning, the nations packed up, checked out and hopped on the shuttle bus to the airport in Osaka. There was a souvenir shop with little plush toys, including a Hello Kitty ® doll dressed in a traditional miko (1) uniform with a sakura (2) flower hairpiece by the left ear. Unless you have never watched/read Hetalia ®, I don't think I need to tell you who bought this. The nations continued to get stares from people. Two girls in particular, a dirty haired blonde (with fuzzy curly hair tied into a bun) and the other with long curly brown hair (with blonde highlights) kept walking past them, excited looks on their faces.

"Those are what you call fangirls right?" Lovino asked Kiku.

"Yes, those would be fangirls."

"They scare me."

"They scare me too."

"Ve~ that was fun!" Feliciano said. "I had a great time Kiku!" he promptly hugged him.

"Th…thank you. Now please get off me."

"That's what she said!" Alfred appeared next to them. "I had a great time too!"

Everyone else agreed as well.

"I hope we come back soon, I want to be a samurai." Lovino said.

"Sooo, where should we go next?" Gilbert leaned on Ludwig's shoulders.

"Get off me." Ludwig said, annoyed.

"That's what…"

Someone threw a shoe at him.

"Hmm, where haven't we gone?" Arthur wondered aloud.

"Thailand!" Francis said.

"Ana~" Thailand said. "Thank you for nominating me!"

"I'd like to go to Thailand for our next meeting." Ivan grinned.

"Me too!" Ukraine said.

"Yao, what do you think?" Arthur asked.

Yao was lying on the waiting room seats, hugging his Hello Kitty Doll. A look of pure bliss was on his face.

"Yeah sure, ok whatever you say aru." He said dreamily.

"Yao-oniichan's in his happy place." Taiwan explained.

The rest of the nations wanted to go to Thailand as well.

"It's settled then!" Alfred popped up. "Our next destination is Thailand!"

XxxxxxXxxxxX

Next time: The Hetalia cast goes to…Thailand!

Coming soon! Or, whenever I get around to writing it. Which I hope is soon…


	12. Thailand, Part 1

Thank you to Cardcaptor Ryoko for telling me about her trip to Thailand!

_Disclaimer-I don't think I own this series…I'm 99.9% certain I don't…_

Thailand, part 1-Nicknames

Time passed and soon enough, the nations met up in Thailand for the next world meeting. Alfred, who had forgotten that there was a time difference between the United States and Thailand, had serious jet lag.

"Whooooooaaaa, the room is spinning…" He fell onto Arthur.

"Get off you git." He tried to push him off but he couldn't deny the fact that Alfred was much taller (and fatter! Damn American food….) than him.

"But I'm tiiiiiiired." He slurred his words as he whined. "Carry me like you used to."

"You're far too old for that."

"Egwand…" he whined once more.

Arthur sighed. Even though it wasn't as cute as when he was younger, how could he resist "Egwand" ?

"Fine, but just until we get into the cab."

Alfred cheered and laid his arm across his shoulder. "Yur mah best friend in the whoooole wide world!"

Francis laughed. "He's like you when you're drunk!"

"I do not act this bad!" Arthur snapped.

"You're right….you're worse."

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

In the cab, the nations met their tour guides, Pete and Rich.

"Nice ta meet cha Richie." Alfred let go of Arthur, slowly, and put out his hand.

"He said his name was Rich, not Richie ana~." Thailand said.

"Oh it's fine," Rich said, smiling. "I kind of like it."

"Can I be called Petie?" Pete asked, pointing to himself.

"Of course!" Alfred said.

"You like to give people nicknames don't you?" Ludwig said.

Alfred nodded. "It makes me feel closer to them, like we're friends or family. That's why I call Matthew Mattie, cuz he's my brother. Right Mattie?!" He pulled Matthew into a headlock and ruffled his hair, a little too roughly.

"Ow! Alfred will you cut that out eh?!...please?"

Alfred stopped then looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hey, since Arthur is Artie, and Matthew is Mattie, why don't I give you all nicknames?!"

"Please don't." Roderich said.

Alfred turned to face him. "Rody!"

"……No. Just no."

The American ignored him. "Liza!" He pointed to Elizaveta.

She shrugged. "I'm fine with it."

He was on a roll now, "Francie! Gil! Felici! Ludy!"

Ludwig face palmed. "I just don't understand you…"

"Welcome to my world." Arthur said.

Alfred turned to Yao. "Yaoy!"

Kiku stifled his laughter.

"That doesn't fit aru." Yao sighed.

"Oh it fits all right." Elizaveta said under her breath, also trying hard not to laugh.

Alfred suddenly froze and fell asleep.

"Thank God for jet lag." Tino sighed with relief.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

"Veeeee~ what a place!" Feliciano said, looking at the hotel in awe. "Amazing!"

"Ana~ thank you!" Thailand beamed. "I figured since we have such a large group we should stay in large hotel and I thought this one was perfect."

Upon entering, Roderich instantly noticed that there was a piano in the lobby.

"Go up without me," he told his roommates. "I'll be busy for a while."

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

"What in the world?!" Arthur said loudly. "There's only one bed in our room! We three can't all possibly fit into it."

"Oh I'm sure we could find a way~." Francis winked.

Arthur glared at him. "It looks like the bed is only big enough for two people so one of us will have to sleep on the floor."

"Oh I want the floor! I want the floor!" Alfred said, raising his hand.

"What?" Arthur had a look of shock and fear on his face.

"You sound so surprised _mon cherie~_" Francis snuck up behind him and put his hands on his shoulders. Arthur yelped and jumped.

"Don't touch me!"

"Uh, Alfred...'Egwand' could use your help now."

"I'm an airplane!" Alfred spread put his arms and flew around the room.

Francis chuckled. "What are you so scared of _court l'un?_ I don't bite…unless you want me to."

Arthur winced then composed himself. "A-hem. How about we play a game to determine who gets to sleep on the bed?"

"Ooh I love games!" Alfred spun around to face the two. "What game? What game?!"

"Rock paper scissors."

"Yeah!"

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Arthur lay back on the pillow, put his arms behind his head and sighed contentedly. "It doesn't surprise me at all. The French always lose after all."

"Shut up!" Francis pouted as he tried to find a comfortable spot on the floor.

Alfred snored.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

I apologize if I offended any French people.

Also, I do not speak French; I had to look up these words online. If I messed up, please tell me the correct words for "my dear" and "short one".


	13. Thailand, Part 2

Cardcaptor Ryoko-san, I hope you don't mind: I used an idea sotnosen93. Also, I took A LOT of creative licensing on this one.

_Disclaimer-Dude, I've told you before I'm gonna tell ya again: I don't own Hetalia: Axis Powers _

Thailand, Part 2- When you wish upon a bucket…

The previous night

"There must have been a mistake or something." Elizaveta said when she met up with her roommates.

"I don't see any mistake Eliz," Gilbert said, smirking. "You should be happy that you get to room with awesome me!...oh and piano-dork over here."

Roderich glared at him. "I really don't mind sharing a room with you."

"Of course you don't mind cuz I'm awe…"

"I was talking to Elizaveta. Rooming with you, I mind."

Gilbert stuck his tongue out at him.

"I don't mind sharing a room with you either." She replied.

Gilbert opened his mouth…

"You, I mind."

He pouted as he opened the door. He pout quickly turned into a smirk.

"Well well, lookie here." He put his arms around the two. "Three people and only one bed. Looks like one of us will have to sleep on the floor and I think you know who definitely will not be doing that." He let go, backed up and folded his arms across his chest. "So go on. Fight to the death over who get's to sleep next to awesome me."

They both rolled their eyes.

"Elizaveta, you can take the bed. Gilbert and I will sleep on the floor."

"What?!" Gilbert looked at him as though he'd just sprouted antlers and a lemur tail.

Roderich looked at him sharply. "Be a gentleman; for once in your life."

Gilbert huffed. "No way!"

"But Gilbert," Elizaveta said sweetly. "Look at that floor. Isn't it the most awesome floor you've ever seen? Only a completely awesome person would sleep on it…"

"I'm sleeping on the floor!"

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Lovino squirmed. "Mmm….huff, erg, A…Antonio…w…w…wake up!"

His younger brother was doing the same. "Vee, th…this feels weird…"

The Vargas brothers were sharing their bed with Antonio, who was grabbing their hair curls while he slept.

"Goddammit! Antonio wake up! Oooooooohh…." Lovino tried to pull his hand away but that only led to more tugging. "I don't even think he's really asleep."

"Nii-san, we….we have to wake him up. Ah!"

"I'm tr…trying…" It was difficult for either Italian to move whenever "that" hair was touched but Lovino finally succeeded in kicking him awake.

"Ouch!"

"Finally! You bastard! You were touching our hair in your sleep. IF you were even asleep. What the hell were you dreaming about?!"

"Oh, sorry, I had no idea! I was dreaming about plucking the tomatoes off the vines."

"Yeah right." Lovino grumbled.

"I forgive you Antonio." Feliciano smiled.

"Don't do it again or I'm kicking you onto the floor." Lovino added.

"I wont. _Buenos noches Italianos pequeños."_

_**The next morning **_

A very sleepy Feliciano found on his way downstairs and hugged him.

"I missed you Ludwig!"

He hung onto him all the way down to the breakfast buffet.

"Ve~ look at all these unusual fruits." He said drowsily. "What are these?"

"Ana~, well that's papayas, guavas, pineapple, and watermelon." Thailand pointed to each fruit.

"What about that pink and green fuzzy fruit? It looks like a little animal."

"It's a rambutan."

During breakfast Lovino gave his opinion on each fruit he ate.

"Papayas =disgusting. Guavas = a bit weird. Rambutan = I liked it cuz it tasted like grapes."

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

After breakfast the nations met Petie and Richie in the lobby and headed into the tour van for a tour of Bangkok. The first stop was the Wat Po Temple.

"Please remove your shoes before entering ana." Thailand said.

"Are you wearing Hello Kitty toe socks?" Kiku asked Yao as they took off their shoes.

"They keep my feet warm aru." He mumbled.

"Look I've got rainbow socks!" Seychelles said.

"My Superman® socks are cooler!" Alfred held up his feet.

"I got chicks!" Gilbert said.

"I thought we were here to tour a temple, not for a sock fashion show." Arthur said.

Inside the temple there was an enormous (seriously, ENORMOUS) reclining Buddha statue.

"Hey Alfred, that's what you'll look like in a few years if you keep eating the way you do." Francis pointed at the statue.

Alfred was not listening to him as he was asking Petie and Richie about the buckets lined up on one side of the temple.

"You throw a coin in and make a wish for good health, good luck, or something like that." They said.

"I wish I had a hamburger!" he shouted as he tossed a coin into one of the buckets. "Woo hoo! 10 points!"

"I wish for pasta!" Feliciano tossed in a coin.

"I wish onii-san would marry me." Natalia said as she tossed a coin up…

Ivan quickly tossed a coin into another bucket.

…and Natalia's coin missed the bucket.

"Darn it!" She stomped her foot.

Ivan breathed a sigh of relief. "My wish came true." He said quietly.

A few others made wishes as well. The tour continued with a more exploring of the temple. There were some very elaborate story-telling murals, parts of which were also in gold leaf.

"Ve~ I wonder what this one is about?" Feliciano looked at one large mural in particular.

Denmark looked at it for a minute. "Well, I can't read Thai, but from the looks of the drawings it looks like a story about a three-headed mud monster."

Everyone else just stared at him.

"What? It does look like that! Norge, back me up!"

"I don't know you." He replied.

Around the temple, there were also statues of so many things that one would wonder how any of them connected with Buddhism at all - like statues of Marco Polo. And there was also a fountain with a little frog hopping around. Peter and Feliciano chased him around the fountain, trying to catch him.

"D'n't tease 'im." Berwald said to his "child".

"The same goes for you." Ludwig said to his… "child".

"Marco Polo? Water? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Alfred asked everyone.

"I think I know mate!" Australia said with a smile.

"Me too da ze~!" Yong Soo jumped up.

"I know too desu yo!" Peter said excitedly.

"Oh I know what you mean ana~!" Thailand said.

"Can I play too?" Feliciano asked.

"Of course! Let the games begin!"

"Oh dear God…" Arthur put his palm to his face and shut his eyes.

Alfred shut his eyes and shouted, "Marco!"

"Polo!" The others said loudly as they scattered in different directions.

"Marco!" Alfred ran around, his arms out in front of him.

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Ribbit!"

Alfred quickly turned in the direction of the "ribbit" and grabbed the frog.

"Got you! The frog is it now!"

"Ribbit?"

"Leave the frog alone." Arthur took it out of his hands and put him on the fountain.

Alfred pouted. "Fine." He touched Arthur's shoulder. "Then you're it!"

"I most certainly am not. I refuse to take part in a children's game, especially not in a public place."

"Oh well, it's probably better anyway. You're getting slow as you grow older and older and…"

"MARCO!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

After another round of Marco Polo, the next stop Grand Palace grounds. The name spoke for itself; it was quite grand. The nations weren't allowed inside, but they were allowed to see the surrounding garden. The garden was full of bushes trimmed elaborately to resemble different shapes.

"Whoever's in charge of gardening must've studied at Disneyland or something, because they have plant art like that at Disneyland too." Said Alfred.

"It might be at Disneyland but plant art originated from Korea da ze!" Yong Soo shouted.

"It did not!" Yao and Kiku said simultaneously.

The Temple of the Emerald Buddha, which was within the same complex as the Palace, had so many stupas (1) for so many different things. Even little kids were selling things. The venders were shouting out their starting prices…

"Only $14.99!"

"$7.50!"

"I like pie~!"

"…..this is why you suck as a salesmen Dad…"

Among the things for sale were…

"Hey look! A hamburger stand!" Alfred said happily.

"Ve! A pasta stand!" Feliciano ran to it. "Wishes do come true!"

The nations who did not make wishes only stared in awe.

Afterwards they went to the building at the temple where they had the Emerald Buddha... and were surprised to find it was actually a tiny little thing up on a pedestal with a bunch of gold and fine things surrounding it.

"This is it?!" Alfred looked at it with disbelief. "It's so tiny."

Arthur smacked him in the back of the head. "Be nice."

Peter suddenly ran up to Alfred, pointed his index finger at him and said, "Do not underestimate the power of small things desu yo!"

Berwald and Tino dragged him away.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

The next sight was the Marble Temple in Chiang Mai, which had a mote.

"Dude, it's like we're in medieval times!" Alfred said.

Arthur sighed happily. "Ah, those were the days…"

Gilbert ran to the other side of the mote. "I'm king of the temple now!"

"You just appointed yourself in charge?" Ludwig looked at him incredulously.

"Yup." Gilbert nodded and smiled in a cocky manner. "Guards! Raise the mote so that no one can enter my palace!"

The mote remained down and the nations walked over. Ludwig dragged his brother with him.

In the temple there was a replica of a famous Buddha statue made of Italian marble. And also stained glass windows imported from Italy.

Thailand turned to the Vargas brothers. "Feliciano and Lovino; thank you very much ana!"

"You're welcome!"

"You see that Alfred?" Arthur said. "HE thanks people when they give him gifts. You could learn something from him." (2)

"I said thank you eventually." He mumbled.

"You should always say thank you Alfred."

"Yeah yeah, I know, it's polite."

"Well yes but also think about it: what if Francis gave me a gift and I didn't say thank you."

"Good point." Alfred shuddered as he looked at Francis, who was eyeing both him and Thailand with a "hungry" look in his eyes.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Afterwards they went back to the hotel for a little bit and then went out to have a traditional Thai dinner at Silom Village. While they ate they listened to live music played on traditional Thai instruments, and later watched a traditional dance performance. On the way back to the hotel Alfred got in a conversation with Petie about daily life in Thailand, and about Hollywood films.

"I have to say, one of my all-time favorite movies is 'The King and I'!"

Petie politely replied, "Oh, that movie is banned in Thailand."

"Huh? But it takes place here…"

Petie said while the story was true, the way it was told in the movie made Rama IV (the king at the time the movie took place) look like a Casanova.

Alfred was silent after that. He remained silent for the remainder of the day.

As Arthur pulled the bed sheets over himself, he smiled. "My wish came true."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1)Pagodas

(2)Reference to "The Hetalia cast goes to Washington D.C."


	14. Thailand, Part 3

_Disclaimer-Seriously, I don't own this series. I'm serious. Seriously. _

Thailand, Part 3-The Floating Market and Other (mis)Adventures

Toris stretched and yawned as he got out of bed. He was the first one up as it was still quite early, so he decided to look at the view out the window. He saw a small temple, some houses... and at least five stray dogs running around.

"Wow; it's like Greece but with dogs."

"Hey Liet, like, what are you, like, looking at?" Feliks said sleepily as he walked over to the window.

"Look, there are a lot of dogs." He pointed to the streets.

Feliks looked out the window. "Whoa! There's, like, a bazillion dogs! Can I, like, take one home with me?"

"I don't think you should; they're strays. We don't know if they're dangerous or have rabies or something like that."

Feliks pouted. "You're, like, no fun."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

After breakfast the nations met Petie and Richie in the lobby and once everyone was all settled (more difficult then it sounds), they drove out of Bangkok into a nearby province. They first stopped at an open-air place with many small shops, which was CROWDED. It didn't take long for everyone to become separated.

"Peter, stay close to me." Tino held the little boy's hand. "I don't want you to get lost."

"Stay close t' me too." Berwald held Tino's hand. "I don' wanna lose my ch'ld an' m' wife."

"I'm not your wife." Tino mumbled.

"Alfred! Alfred! Where did you run off to you git?!" Arthur called out over the crowd.

All of a sudden, he heard someone behind him shout, "BOO!"

He screamed.

"Ha ha ha!" Alfred laughed. "Gotcha!"

Arthur frowned. "You bloody idiot! I was actually worr…"

"What was that?"

"N…nothing."

"LUDWIIIIIIIIG!" Feliciano shouted. "We can't find you!"

"Shut up." Lovino nudged his shoulder. "We don't need that Potato Bastard or even that Tomato Bastard to help us." Just then, as he turned his head, he noticed that Francis was eying the two of them.

"I've finally got you two alone…" He whispered creepily, just loud enough that Lovino could hear him.

"Gaah! Ludwig! Antonio! Anyone who isn't Francis, HEEEEELP!" Lovino started screaming and running threw the crowd.

"Ve! Wait for me Onii-chan!" Feliciano ran after him as well.

Soon enough, the group was reunited.

"Aww, you called for me to save you!" Antonio hugged Lovino tightly.

"Let go of me!" He pushed him off.

A few nations found a small shop, which sold coconut sugar.

"This stuff is AWESOME!!!" Gilbert exclaimed. "Though not as awesome as me." Within the same area they got to tour a traditional Thai home. Inside, there was a squirrel in a cage that flipped in circles, kind of like a somersault.

"That is like, so cool!" Feliks said. "Liet, I like, want a squirrel that can, like, do gymnastics too!"

Toris sighed. "Where am I supposed to find something like that?"

Feliks pouted. "You are, like, totally no fun!"

Before leaving a few nations needed to use the bathroom.

"But I don't have to go." Peter said.

"We might as well go while the going's good." Tino said.

Iceland opened one of the toilet stalls and there was a snake on the floor. He closed that thing as soon as she opened it and looked around before going into any of the others.

"Wow, you handled that pretty calmly." Denmark said. "I would have screamed like a little girl."

"That's because that's what you are on the inside: a little girl." Norway said.

"Oh ha ha!" Denmark mussed his hair up. "Norge made a joke!"

Afterwards, they left and drove for a good while, seeing a lot of jungle along the road with the occasional rice paddy until they reached the Floating Market - or rather the dock where they boarded a motor-operated longtail boat to go down the canal to the market. They were on the boat for a good half hour before finally reaching the market, seeing some huts along the canal.

"Hey look!" Belgium said. "I see something in the water! I think it's a crocodile or a water snake or some kind of reptile."

Feliks looked at Toris. Toris shook his head. Feliks pouted.

Upon arriving, they got off the boat and shopped around. Some "shops" were just rowboats along the canal. There was lots of bargaining, which Yao was very good at. One example:

"What do you want for this aru?"

"One thousand baht."

"That's too much aru. 500."

"800."

"Still too much aru."

"Okay then, name your price."

"I told you, 500 aru."

"I won't go any lower than 700."

"Then I'll look elsewhere aru." He walked off. A few minutes later...

"Okay okay, I'll sell it to you for 500!"

One time a woman chased him across part of the market finally agreeing to the price he wanted for a small vase. It was to the point where Petie just waited at the end of the market for us because the merchants didn't want him telling them how to bargain.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After the market they went to a fancy buffet called the Rose Garden for lunch, where Lovino tried two other new fruits: lychee and dragon fruit.

"Lychee looks almost like a strawberry but pinker and with a harder outer shell. It tastes just like rambutan The dragonfruit tasted kind of like kiwi even though it's not green. It's kinda fuchsia colored."

"What are you a food critic?" Ludwig asked him.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am, Potato Bastard." He replied firmly. "And now that you mention it, I'd like to review some more foods: Your potatoes are gross and Vash, so is your cheese."

"Watch what you say…" he replied in a threatening tone.

"Matthew's pancakes are delicious however."

"Ah, thank you very much." Matthew smiled and blushed.

"Who?" everyone else said.

The rest of the buffet itself had curry and other Thai favorites in addition to international foods – sushi included. Kiku gobbled that right up. Once they had finished eating they went to another part of the garden for an elephant show…

"Liet!"

"You've got to be kidding me…"

…and then later to an auditorium where they saw a show featuring various Thai customs - a staged Muai Thai match, a parade trailing a soon-to-be-ordained monk, various Thai martial arts, and a Thai-style wedding.

"Nii-san, look how happy that couple is." Natalia said to Ivan. "_**We could be that happy…**_"

"Hey look something's happening over there!" Ivan pointed to the stage frantically.

Then at the end of the show the people running it invited everyone in the audience to come down and dance.

"Yeah boy!" Alfred jumped up. "Let's get down!"

"There's no way I'm going to make a fool of myself in a public place like this…"

Alfred completely ignored him, grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the stage.

Every other nation joined as well. After dancing their asses off, they left the Rose Garden and went back to the hotel. Many passed out from exhaustion.

_**Later that night**_

"Liet?" whispered as he lay in the hotel bed.

"Yes Feliks?"

"I miss my pony."

"Oh, I get it now." Toris hugged his friend. "We'll be home soon enough."

XxxxxxXxxxxxX


	15. Thailand, Part 4

_Disclaimer-If I owned Hetalia I would tell you._

Guess what people; you're getting a history lesson!

Thailand, Part 4-A little history and monkey business

The nations gathered up their things early the next morning, for they were going to depart Bangkok for Phitsanulok. But first, there was a lot more stuff to see along the way.

Along their trip, Petie and Richie made a stop to pick up what they said was a popular sweet in Thailand. There bought two very large bags, one had freshly baked, thin, somewhat sweet tortilla-like things, and the other had shredded sugarcane. They showed them how to make it; they took a sizeable amount of the sugarcane and put it on one of the tortillas-like breads and rolled it up.

"Yah! More sugar!" Gilbert ate two of them in no time.

"You do realize that you're going to need the dentist after this trip if you keep eating that much sugar, right?" Ludwig asked him, preventing Feliciano from even touching the sugary treat.

"For something this good, it's worth it!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The first stop was the site of ruins from an ancient temple in Ayutthaya. There were tons of squirrels in the trees, which Feliciano chased and for some reason Alfred could communicate with. Arthur didn't question it nor did he want to know.

Petie and Richie explained the history of the temple: It was burned down in a war with Burma/Myanmar, but some structures thereof still remained... except every Buddha statue on the premises had its head chopped off by thieves who sell such relics in the black market. The main Buddha statue still had a head, but it wasn't the original head. The original, Pete showed them, was wrapped up in the roots of a tree native to India which is considered sacred to Buddhism because it's believed the Buddha was born, reached enlightenment, and died under that same kind of tree.

Alfred pulled his shirt over his head. "Look! I'm The Headless Buddha! I have come for your head and enlightenment! Woooooo!"

He walked in a Frankenstein-like manner…straight into a wall.

Arthur face palmed. "Where did I go wrong with that boy?"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

They saw another set of ruins also in Ayutthaya, which had a newer still-intact temple and a market right within the same complex. Just like in Bangkok, there were a lot of stray dogs and cats running around. The monks cared for the dogs that were found around the temples when their former owners could no longer take care of them for whatever reason.(1) After seeing the ruins and getting their fill of Thai history as Petie explained to them which ruins were burned in which war (one temple was on fire for 11 straight days), they got back in the van and drove through much more jungle until reaching a hotel in Lopburi for lunch. The hotel was decorated with a lot of different monkey statues, carvings and figures - and they found out why as they drove further into the city to visit the next stop. Oh my god; foreshadowing!!!

In the center of town lived two families of monkeys: one family lived on one corner; another family lived on another by the train tracks.

"Hey, they live on the WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS!" Denmark pointed out.

Only Alfred laughed. "LOL! It's like West Side Story but with monkeys!" He pointed to the corner group. "These guys are the Jets!" He pointed to the train tracks group. "And these guys are the Sharks!"

He, Denmark and Australia then started singing "When you're a Jet." A few monkeys started screeching.

"Are they singing or yelling at them to stop?" Ivan wondered aloud.

"Maybe a little bit of both aru." Yao replied.

The monkeys were everywhere: They walked telephone lines, on buildings, and apparently were even known to drink Coca-Cola ®.

"Smart monkeys." Alfred commented. "They have good taste."

The monkeys showed no fear of humans whatsoever. That is, except for the town locals armed with slingshots. Petie explained to them that sometimes to make extra money they'll offer to make sure tourists didn't get too bombarded by the monkeys, acting somewhat as "monkey patrol." The monkeys had come to know what it means when a person takes out a slingshot. As they got out of the van, Petie and Richie both imitated the motion of pulling back a slingshot to scare them at one point -more just for kicks though than because they posed any threat.

Before they got out of the van those nations who were wearing jewelry removed it, so no monkeys could grab at them. A few nations also gave them the remainder of the sugarcane from the snack (the tortillas had run out long before the sugarcane did).

"Aww, they're cute!" Taiwan said as she pat one on the head.

Just then, one of the larger monkeys just went ahead and yoinked Petie and Richie's bag from Richie's grasp as quick as a whip.

"Whoa! I, like, thought he was, like, going to take your hand with the bag!" Feliks said, shocked.

They went further out into a park in the middle where one of the two families made their home (the one by the railroad tracks), where there were more monkeys and a small remain of some sort of ancient structure that was barred off so the monkeys couldn't get in and attack tourists in the dark. They escaped from the monkeys….only to find bats.

"Ahh! Vampires! Ruuuun!" Alfred sped out of there. Several others followed him.

"Why is everyone so afraid?" Arthur wondered out loud.

"It is strange," Heracles commented. "My mother loved bats."

"Mysterious," Kiku said as he looked at a few who were hanging around (2) in the structure. "Kawaii; that one has a baby."

"I don't get it either aru." Yao replied. "They should be thankful aru." (3)

"Yeah I know right?" Feliks agreed. "It's, like, a symbol of, like, good luck."

"It's a heraldic symbol in several of my cities" Antonio said. "A symbol of conquest and victory."

"Mine too." Francis said. "I guess anyone outside of the Crown of Aragon sees them as objects of terror."

"Everyone sees things differently." Ludwig said as he watched several winged creatures fly around. "Just look at these two:" he motioned to the Vargas brothers. Lovino was looking at the bats in awe while Feliciano was hiding behind him in fear.

"You know, if one lands on your head you have to shave all of your hair off." Yong Soo said.

"That's not true, is it?" Seychelles put her hands over her head protectively.

As Toris watched the bats fly he heard a creepy voice behind him say, "_**I vant to suck your blood**_."

Toris ran away screaming.

"Don't run away Toris, it's just me!" Ivan said.

"I know!!!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Later, the group returned to the monkeys. More monkey business (4) ensued as Kiku took video footage of the primate antics - in which he did end up with a member of the make-shift town guard tailing him, except this guy had an umbrella instead of a sling shot. The only time he really had to use it though was when one monkey got on the umbrella and he swung it around, but that seemed to be more for the monkey's entertainment.

"It's the monkey circus!" Alfred laughed. "Here we go on the monkey-go-round!"

It seemed at times like the monkeys were friends with Norway, because he played with them as though it were nothing... and then stepped on one monkey's tail by accident. Thankfully though all it did was run off screeching, looking back at him while holding the end of its tail, glaring and screeching.

"I'm pretty sure that he's saying, 'You jerk! That was my tail!'" Iceland said.

Later, either for revenge or for Norway's hat or camera, two monkeys got on his back later. They didn't bite him, though.

"I think they really did just want to play and/or snatch my camera." He said to Iceland as he adjusted his hat.

One monkey also climbed onto Eduard's shirt seeking either the charm he had put on his camera or his glasses. Thankfully, neither was taken from him that day.

"I think that's a boy monkey." He said as he pointed at one monkey Ukraine was feeding.

"How can you tell?" Raivis asked.

The monkey climbed up Ukraine's shirt.

"Believe me, I can tell."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Once all that was said and done, they got back into the van.

"Bloody hell it's hot!" Arthur said, taking a large gulp of water.

"It feels wonderful." Ivan said, blissfully.

"You enjoy this?!"

"You try living in subzero temperatures for all your life." He grinned his usual (evil) grin. "Actually, I'm sure I could arrange that…"

Luckily, Richie had complimentary cold water bottles and washcloths waiting for them.

Gilbert took a bottle of water and dumped it over his head.

"I'm a maniac! Maaaaaniac!"

Ludwig just ignored him.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxX

They drove for another few hours or so before reaching our hotel in Phitsanulok and having dinner. But that was far from the end of the day - attached to the hotel, it would seem, was a shopping center... or rather, just a gigantic department store. It had multiple floors and sold such a variety of merchandise.

"This is unreal!" Alfred screamed as he ran around the place.

"Oh great, another monkey." Arthur sighed.

They even had manga at their book and stationary section, which Kiku bought. After exploring that, the nations went back to their rooms and got ready for bed. In the room Ludwig, Feliciano, Kiku and Alfred shared, Alfred watched CNN World to get his news fix. Later, Kiku got to control the remote for a bit and found an episode of the Thailand-dub of Naruto ® airing. He laughed at Sasuke's Thai voice.

"I did a good job with the English dub right?" Alfred asked.

Kiku had nothing to say.

Soon enough the two fell asleep.

XxxxxxXxxxxxX

Off topic; I LOVE bats! 3 3 3 That's why I absolutely had to add in these little facts.

.org/wiki/Bats

.org/wiki/Bat_(heraldry)

(1)Heracles took the cats home with him. Yes, all of them.

(2)OMG PUN! =D

(3)Bats are considered a symbol of good luck, longevity and happiness in China.

(4)MORE PUNS!!! =D


	16. Thailand, Part 5

_Disclaimer-This is one franchise I don't own. Wait….I don't own any franchise. Ok then, I own nothing. _

Thailand, Part 5- The Almighty Gray Kitty calls the meeting to order

After the usual morning routine, the nations left Phitsanulok for Sukothai, another former capital, for more ruins. The buttresses on one of the ruins did resemble elephants, although most of them had lost their trunks. At the first ruin site there was a cat sitting on a pedestal licking its paw.

Heracles added after Petie's explanation of the place's history that "And this is the temple of the Almighty Gray Kitty."

Petie looked confused. "Er, no it isn't. I just said it was called…"

"Don't anger the gods." Kiku warned him.

Peter meowed at the cat. It meowed back, got off the pedestal and started following him as they moved on to another part of the area. In fact, as soon as he stopped it caught up with him and rubbed up against his legs. Just as he reached down to pat its head, his "parents" turned and scolded him, saying "WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ANY OF THE AMINALS!"

"I wasn't touching an aminal, I was touching an animal desu yo." He replied in a cocky manner.

"We meant animal." They gave him an angry look.

He ran to catch up with them, tail in between his legs. The cat mysteriously disappeared. Then they visited some other ruins in the city, and a well-known still-intact temple in the area. Then they left Sukothai and drove through the jungle until they reached the Temple of the Buddha's Footprint. It had another name, but that's what Feliks called it call it because the main attraction there is a "footprint" in the ground (though the monks goldleafed it and built a building to house it) that supposedly was left by the Buddha. Toris's first reaction was, "I don't think it looks like a footprint."

"Honestly, I don't quite think it does either, but given the rectangular shape of the feet on the Reclining Buddha we saw earlier, perhaps the monks think the Buddha's feet were shaped like that." Eduard said.

"Rectangular feet?! Was the Buddha an alien?!!" Alfred asked excitedly.

Nobody answered him, as nobody wanted to deal with him.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After a quick lunch, they arrived in Lampang and held the world meeting in the hotel.

"Ok so here's the plan I've drawn up." Arthur said as he pointed to a chart. "I call it the Three-Pronged Attack." (1)

"That sounds like a porno!" Alfred laughed.

"You think EVERYTHING sounds dirty." Arthur frowned.

"You have to admit, it does sound quite _risqué._" Francis purred.

"It does not! Now, as I was saying…"

"It does sound like a porno!" Gilbert interrupted. "West, don't you have a movie back at home with that name?!"

"I am not going to answer that." Ludwig said, his cheeks turning red.

"I think I played a dating sim with that name da ze." Yong Soo said.

"Su-papa, Fin-papa, what's a porno desu yo?" Peter asked.

They both turned red. "Tell ya wh'n yer old'r." Berwald said quietly.

"Or, Uncle Den could tell you right now!" Denmark said as he pushed his chair over to the boy.

Iceland hit him in the back of the head. "Or, Uncle Ice could stop him from scaring a young child's mind."

Norway pulled him away. "And Uncle Nor could help to shut him up."

"If it is a porn I hope it's guy-on-guy," Elizaveta whispered to herself. (2)

"If you would all please just listen…" Arthur clenched his teeth.

"Hey hey Kiku," Gilbert poked him. "Doncha think it sounds like one of your…what're they called….hantei videos?"

"Hentai." Kiku whispered, his cheeks were red too. He said a bit louder, "Please leave me alone and stop interrupting."

"Thank you," Arthur said. "So, in this plan…"

"It does sound like a porn right?" Gilbert turned to Heracles.

He nodded. "It does sound like a group sex porn."

"Grandpa Rome would approve." Feliciano said to Lovino, who agreed.

"Wow Artie I didn't know you were into that kinda stuff!" Alfred said.

"Shut up!!" Arthur shouted. "I am NOT into that and this is NOT a pornographic film! You know what? I'm changing the name of this plan!" He took a pen out of his pocket, crossed out the title and wrote a new one.

"There. Now it's the Three Branched Offense. Any more interruptions? I didn't think so. Now then…"

Arthur explained his plan. Some nations agreed, others disagreed so compromises were made, the plan was altered, and at the end of the meeting, they came up with a solution to…whatever the problem was. I don't know, I wasn't at the meeting. They didn't invite me, dammit! Oh yes, **ahem**, the story..

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The nations hung out at the hotel for the rest of the day. Alfred, Australia, Gilbert and Yong Soo discovered, with much delight, that they could slide down the hallways in their socks.

"WHEEEEeeeeee!"

They did this for about two hours…after midnight…right outside the room Yao and Hong Kong were trying to sleep in. Hog Kong told them to stop numerous times but Yao was not at all bothered, as he had a palm-sized Hello Kitty in a panda suit plushie(3). It never failed to keep him in a happy mood, no matter what was going on. He was fast asleep, in pure joy. Eventually, the troublemakers went to bed and all the nations slept happily. Though not as happily as Yao.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1)This is what the advisor of the Honor Society at my school called our agenda for the year. The president pointed out that it sounded like a porno. The advisor basically told him to sit down and shut up.

(2)Me too, Elizaveta; me too.

(3)Yes, this does exist. I bought it at Urban Outfitters. It's so cute!! 3 I immediately thought that Yao would have loved it since it's his two favorite things: Pandas and Hello Kitty.


	17. Thailand, Part 6

_Disclaimer-I do not, nor will I ever, own this series._

By the way: "This means talking", 'This means thinking'

Thailand, Part 6-Shop till you drop…or until you run out of money.

"I hope you all brought enough money with you, because we'll be visiting a lot of shops today ana." Thailand said the next morning, as they got ready to leave.

"Ve, Ludwig, you'll lend me money if I need it right?" Feliciano tugged on his sleeve.

"Yes," Ludwig said. "But you know you can't use your money wasteful right?"

"What would be considered wasteful?"

"How about 50 boxes of pasta you never cooked?"

Feliciano laughed nervously.

The nations started in Lampang from the hotel, and, with a few stops to temples on the way, they eventually arrived in Chiang Mai, the "Rose of the North". The first order of business was to tour some factories in the area, including an umbrella factory, where they made the Asian-style umbrellas. They saw the process by which the umbrellas were made, and also saw the largest umbrella they ever made.

"Are you like, gonna open it up?" Feliks asked.

"No, it's much to large to do that." The tour guide said.

"Good cuz if you, like, open it inside, you'll, like, have, like, 5 bazillion years of, like, bad luck!"

The giant umbrella was in commemoration of when Princess Diana came to visit the factory (there were even pictures from when they presented the thing).

"Oh how I miss her." Arthur said sadly.

After that, they went into the factory's gift shop, which included a lot more than just umbrellas. They had miniature playable models of a traditional Thai musical instrument (it looked like a xylophone), Siamese cat statues for home decoration, scroll paintings, and sling shots.

"Don't you think it's strange that despite all the stray cats we've seen, not a single one was of the "Siamese" breed?" Tino asked.

Berwald nodded and shrugged. "'sa myst'ry."

Alfred picked up a slingshot. "Hey Aussie, should I get this?"

Australia grinned and gave him a thumb up. "Definitely mate!"

Arthur touched Alfred's shoulder.

"Please don't." He begged. 'Him plus a slingshot equals a lot of pain for everyone.'

Alfred pouted. "You can't tell me what to do!"

"Look! Something shiny!" He pointed to a random object.

"Where?!" Alfred turned to look.

In a flash Arthur snatched the slingshot from his hand.

"Huh? Where'd my sling shot go?" He gasped. "A ghost must have taken it!"

"Yes Alfred, it was a ghost."

Alfred shivered and held onto Arthur's arm. "Don't let the ghost get me!"

Arthur sighed. "Fine," 'Just as long as he doesn't buy that slingshot.'

The other nations bought a few things, like scroll paintings and bookmarks.

Afterwards, they moved on to two other factories. First, they visited a rug factory. People from all over the world worked there. In fact, the tour guide was from Kashmir.(1) He kept trying to talk several nations into buying a carpet, even a small one, but they kept refusing. Except for Alfred…

"Whoa, that looks like the carpet from Aladdin! I'll take it!"

Right after he paid the man, he jumped onto the carpet.

"Fly Carpet! Fly!"

Arthur face palmed. "There really is no way to respond to that."

The man continued to try to get the other nations to buy carpets.

"I already bought some super-expensive carpets years back when I went to Egypt and ended up hating them, but I wasn't willing to throw them out because of their high value." Denmark said out loud.

"Uh, I think you just insulted Gupta." Norway said.

"Oh. Eh heh heh, sorry dude."

Gupta nodded and was silent but it appeared that he was muttering some sort of curse.

At the gift shop there were some non-rug-related things too that like little decorative orbs. Tino bought a few to make into Christmas ornaments.

"Hey, Aniki!" Yong Soo held up a particularly large orb and ran over to Yao. "Look into my crystal ball da ze. In your future I see you allowing me to touch your breasts da ze."

He held it up a little higher, but it was too heavy for him. The ball came with a loud **CRASH**!

Yao looked at the crashed remains then looked at Yong Soo. "In your very very near future, I see you paying for that with your own money aru."

Hungary almost bought a table runner too, but it cost too much even after the guy lowered the price in an attempt to get her to buy it. There was even a set of sparkly gold-colored coasters with some kind of glitter in the paint and sakura designs on them that Kiku almost bought.

"I have a feeling I should save my money."

"Now that's the right kind of thinking." Roderich nodded in approval. "Thrifty."

Gilbert coughed. "Cheapskate!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The second factory tour was of a lacquerware factory, where they showed them how they applied the lacquer (it's a process that takes weeks though), and how they decorated each piece afterwords. The female nations bought a few small jewelry-box-type things because they were cheap and they had a "buy a certain amount get one free" thing. The gift shop had a whole bunch of stuff other than that, though unlike the other factories they only sold their lacquerware. They even had a chess set made of lacquer, but it was mega-expensive. So instead of buying it, Toris and Feliks played chess in the gift shop.

"Now, do you remember how to play this time?" Toris asked him.

"Like, of course I do! I, like, totally know how to play." Feliks knocked all of Toris's pieces off the board and put his pawn on the edge of Toris's side of the board. "King me!"

Toris sighed and face palmed. "I should have know…"

At the end of that brief gift-shop run, Arthur ended up getting a set of complimentary incense that came with a little lacquer elephant. One of the incense packages in that set though was labeled "opium".

"It's only the scent of the incense right? " He asked the salesperson, who nodded.

"Of course you would buy an 'opium' scented one aru." Yao glared at Arthur.

Arthur chuckled awkwardly. "Can't we just let bygones be bygones?"

Yao shrugged. "I suppose aru." (2)

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Later, they reached their hotel, a super-ritzy kind of place with a gigantic picture of the king up on display on the roof. This was where they and the Petie-Ritchie duo went their separate ways.

"Bye guys!" Alfred waved to them as they commenced the long drive back to Bangkok to start another tour. "I'm gonna miss them. And I'll bet they'll miss me too."

"What makes you say that?" Francis asked.

"I gave them their awesome new nicknames that they'll have forever."

"Or until they get bored of them." Arthur mumbled.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

That evening, after the nations rested a bit at the hotel and unpacked. In his room, Alfred flipped through the channels to find that the only two English-speaking news channels were NHK World…

"Isn't that a Japanese station?" He asked Kiku.

Kiku nodded. "I'm just as confused as you are."

…and Aljazheera, an Arab station.

"It didn't seem too propaganda-like though, despite the issue the discussing."

"Do you know what they're talking about?" Ludwig asked him.

"……no." he admitted. (3)

Afterwards they left the hotel and walked around town into the area Petie had pointed out earlier where the night market was. There was lots of bargaining going on at the night market, and there were tons of things to buy; it was kind of like the floating market, except it was in the middle of a city. They even had a couple food stands, though the nations stayed away from those because Petie advised them at one point never to eat the food sold on the street.

"Ve, but he gave us street food earlier." Feliciano said.

"That was safe to eat." Ludwig explained.

"What? You mean the candy those tiny mini-bananas? Oh those were good!" Lovino said. "Actually, they were even better than regular bananas."

"The food critic returns." Ludwig rolled his eyes.

The night market had some pretty interesting stuff. There were a couple old women that would occasionally walk down the sidewalk advertising their goods. The thing that stood out about them is that they were from one of the hill tribes that migrated from other parts of Asia, usually China, Laos, and/or Mongolia. A lot of the shops sold little strings of lights that Liechtenstein almost bought.

"They would look nice in my room but these cost quite a bit and my Onii-chan has taught me to be frugal."

Gilbert coughed. "Another cheapskate!"

Vash glared at him. "Did you say something?"

Gilbert smiled. "Nope."

Liechtenstein did end up buying some Thai silk pajamas from one of the booths though. One pair for herself and a pair for her brother.

The original mission that night was not, however, to do more shopping. Instead, it was to find a place to eat.

"Hey everyone! I see a great place to eat!" Alfred pointed to a McDonald's.

A few nations groaned.

"I guess that would be best ana." Thailand said. "I don't know of any other places close to here ana. It isn't really that bad ana."

"Whatever," Lovino said. "But as soon as I get home I'm eating 100 tomatoes to wash out the taste."

"Same." Feliciano said.

Antonio also nodded in agreement.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Needless to say, when they got back to the hotel they were exhausted.

(1)Himaruya-san, get to drawing!! For that matter, I'd like to see Ireland too. Make Ireland a girl cuz the motto is Erin go bragh (Ireland forever) ERIN!!

(2)They're referring to the opium wars

(3)Damn Americans and their lack of not knowing what's going on in the world…


	18. Thailand, Part 7

_Disclaimer-I am not the creator of this series. _

Thailand, Part 7-Buddhas, diabetes and big-lipped fish. (It will all make sense soon.)

The nations woke up sometime at 7 or 8 that morning.

"It's too eeeeeaaarlllyyy~." Feliciano whined.

Ludwig had to drag him out of bed and down to the buffet. As he dragged him through the hallway, he saw Antonio also dragging a complaining Lovino down the hall.

"Noooo, I want to sleeeeep."

Ludwig looked at Antonio. "Why do we do this?"

Antonio grinned. "Because they're our amigos, mi amigo. Besides, in my case at least, Lovino would yell at me for letting him miss breakfast."

The breakfast buffet had Thai and Western food, even sushi, though all they had in that respect were little cucumber rolls.

"Hey Kiku; how come there were no California rolls in any of the restaurants we ate at in Japan?" Alfred asked him.

Kiku stared at him and then shook his head. "Baka. Anata wa baka." (1)

"You always call me that, 'baka'. What is it? A nickname or something?"

Kiku nodded. "Yes. That's exactly what it is. Baka."

During breakfast, Gilbert kept mistaking a bowl of honey for maple syrup and putting it on his pancakes.

"I want maple syrup dammit!" He slammed his fist on the table.

"I know how you feel." Matthew sighed.

After breakfast they waited in the lobby for their new tour guide to meet them. Eventually a woman with curly hair who looked quite old met up with them. She introduced herself as Porntip. The "r" was silent. She said they could call her Tip or, as she says some of her clients call her, Tippy.

Alfred giggled. "Porntip. Ha!" (He pronounced the r.)

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Could you be any more immature?"

Their driver for that day was named Dom.

"Dom do do dom do dom dom dom dom!" Alfred sang. (2)

Arthur sighed. "I guess the answer to my question is yes."

They drove through the city for a bit, Tip pointed out remnants of the old city walls and explaining the history of the city, until they got to the mountain range to the north of the city. Then they drove up the mountain a ways until they reached a small town. There we transferred to a pick-up truck that didn't look like your average pick-up truck in the back.

"This is a weird looking truck!" Denmark said as he climbed into it. "It's like a mutant pick up truck."

"Maybe it's a transformer!" Alfred said excitedly. "We could be riding in Optimus Prime!"

"Whoa, I didn't even think of that! Cool!"

The two sang the Transformers® theme as they drove further up the mountain until they reached a very well known temple. They could see much of the city from up there, and as they walked around the grounds Tip explained to them some of Buddhist history as told through the murals, particularly the story of Buddha's life. They also were introduced to a little something that the Thai have that was similar to horoscopes. There was a different Buddha statue for every day of the week. Whatever day of the week you were born on, that Buddha was your Buddha.

"I must have been born on the day the AWESOME Buddha!" Gilbert said.

"I must have been born on the day of the HERO Buddha!" Alfred said.

"No, you were both born on the day of the IDIOT Buddha." Ludwig and Arthur said simultaneously.

After they were done at the temple, they toured a jade factory down by the steps of the staircase they had to climb to get to the temple. They learned how jade is processed and looked at some of the jewelry and statues they sold.

"It's nice, though not as impressive as the jade factory I have back at home aru." Yao said to himself.

Thailand overheard him and glowered at him.

When they were outside the factory the workers and tour guide offered them cookies. Alfred grabbed about ten of them.

"That certainly is a lot of sugar." Arthur commented.

"Nuh uh!" Alfred said as he shoved an entire cookie into his mouth. "I eat sugary stuff like this all the time. Just this morning I ate a chocolate bar, some gum drops, a cherry lollipop, a cotton candy flavored lollipop, taffy, some Resses ® and a pack of those little sugar packs on the table."

"…You're going to get diabetes!"

"No I won't."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm the hero! Heroes don't get diabetes."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"Ah ha ha ha~!" Alfred ignored him and ran off, as he was sugar high.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After that, they went further up the mountain until they were practically at the top. Here, they met the Hmong tribe that lived there, migrants originally from Mongolia. Tip explained that their traditional outfits are renowned because take a whole year to make, so while they make their outfit for the next year, they wear the one they made the previous year all year long. They reuse the old ones in making handicrafts that they sell, or they sell them to tourists or for tourists to take pictures in (they're made of hemp, that's why they can't just wash them and wear them again).

"That must, like, totally suck, having to wear the same clothes, like, all year." Feliks said, sticking his tongue out.

"The outfits are cool though." Elizaveta said, admiring the craftsmanship on a certain elaborate outfit.

"This is what I like to call an 'attraction dress'." Tippy said. "It's said that if a man sees you wearing this he'll want to marry you." (3)

"How much are you willing to sell this for? I'll pay any amount." Natalia said as she grabbed the dress out of Elizaveta's hands.

"Sorry, it's not for sale."

Natalia pouted angrily.

Ivan breathed a sigh of relief.

On the way up to the village they also saw a garden planted near the King's summer home around that area. When they got to the village, venders sold some of their handcrafts as well as stuff probably brought up the mountain from the city. Liechtenstein bought some little pink booties for her and Vash that matched with their pajamas. Gilbert chuckled. Vash shot him a harsh glare.

"If I can't shoot at you with my gun I'll shoot at you with my eyes."

Denmark almost bought a crossbow that was modeled after the crossbows the ancestors of the Hmong used. The guy selling them allowed him to try it out as a demonstration by hitting the hanging fruit he set up for targets. He hit the target almost every time.

"Wow! I feel like William tell!"

Nonetheless, he didn't buy it.

"I couldn't get it home if I bought it, and anyway, I could probably make one at my house if I wanted to."

"Please don't." Norway said quietly. "You with an axe is terrifying enough."

"Actually I had a similar experience where I wanted to buy something that was super-valuable that I knew I couldn't get elsewhere, but there was the issue of getting it home. It was a German war helmet that I saw for sale when I went to Estonia."

"Wait, hold on. Why was there a German war helmet in Estonia?" Iceland asked.

Ludwig and Eduard looked at each other and shrugged. "It's a mystery."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After they toured the shops in the village, they went up to a small museum explaining the history of the town and the history of its former opium industry. They also had a garden with a view of the city, but most of the time they couldn't see it because there was so much fog.

"I can see the city!" Feliciano said, pointing toward a foggy area. "Aww, a cloud got in the way; I can't see it anymore. Oh it moved! I see it again! A cloud blocked it again. I see it! Cloud. City! Another cloud. City!"

"Why do I have this strange feeling of déjà vu?" Ludwig wondered aloud as he smacked him on the back of the head. (4)

The garden had numerous flora and fauna as well as several chickens running around…which Peter chased.

There was also one opium poppy, just for show since all-out opium production is illegal.

As soon as he saw the poppy, Yao glared at Arthur a little bit, who tried to keep his distance. But Yao followed him, staring him down.

They went back down to where the village started and got back on the mutant pickup truck to go back down to the other village where they got back on the van and headed down. The tour was done for the day, but Tip convinced them to get a massage in town instead of waiting until they got to Phuket (though they did get massaged in Phuket too).

At the massage place, while Heracles took a nap for those two hours, the others had their massages in the hotel room. Gilbert originally deemed massages unmanly, but the Thai massage "sold him on it".

"I feel empowered!" he felt his arm muscles. "I bet I'm even stronger now! I can take on anything! BOW DOWN TO…"

He collapsed onto the waiting room sofa. "Zzzzz"

During the second massage,

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Later that evening they went to an Italian restaurant that Tip recommended just down the street from their hotel. The Vargas brothers were very, very happy. The nations sat by a fish tank that had only one very, very large fish. This fish had lips. And every now and again that fish would pucker up against the glass.

In most of the several times it did it, at first, only Tino saw it.

"I think that fish is hitting on me." He said.

Berwald looked at the fish. "Cut th't out. He's m' wife. N't yers."

Eventually, Feliciano and a few others also saw the fish.

"I think it's hungry." Feliciano said.

"Non, I think it wants a kiss." Francis said.

"I think it needs lip balm." Antonio said.

Everyone agreed that food there was very good. They weren't the only ones who thought so apparently. When Yong Soo went to the restroom, he noticed that there were tons of awards lining the hallway.

"Wow! No wonder the food was so good da ze. They got awards up the yin-yang da ze!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After dinner as they walked down the street back to their hotel, they passed the area where they were last night, and that's where Taiwan bought a bracelet from a tribal woman as well as a pair of pajamas. That night, there were durians for sale. They could be smelled from a far distance.

"Ewww." Alfred held his nose. "That smells gross!"

"Really? I think it smells yummy aru." Yao said.

"I guess it depends on your taste." Said Vash.

"Whose side are you on?" Alfred asked him. " The yucky side or the yummy side?"

"I'm neutral."

They walked back to the hotel, fending off taxi drivers left and right who seemed determined to drive them to their hotel even though it was within walking distance. Once in their rooms, they relaxed for a bit before they went to bed.

Another day, more exhaustion.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1) Just in case you didn't know, baka means idiot. Anata wa baka-You're an idiot.

(2) I forgot the name of the piece.

(3) I read a book on the Hmong culture. I remember an outfit like this. I probably got my info wrong…

(4)See Chapter 3


	19. Thailand, Part 8

_Disclaimer-I am the creator of this series. (I meant the opposite of that statement). _

Thailand, part 8- The Tale of the Happy Buddha/Monk (who weighs approximately over 9,000!!!! pounds)

The nations woke up at their usual time, and then after breakfast they met up with Tip again. That day they saw some temples that are important in the region. At one of them there were schoolchildren praying (it was a Buddhist holiday), then at another one, while walking the grounds, Tip told them about the temple dogs - stray dogs that people leave at the temples when they can no longer take care of them, and from then on the monks attend to their needs.

"It really is like Greece, but with dogs." Toris commented.

She also told them about a university that was at that same temple where if you became a monk, you could go to school there for free - so in order to obtain an education for their sons, some parents encourage them to become monks just for that period of time while they study. There's not necessarily such an opportunity for the girls though.

"Sweet deal!" Alfred grinned. "Considering that the tuition costs in America are really high, I may just become a monk! Wait…do I have to take a vow of silence or something?"

Arthur got down on his knees and prayed. "Please become a monk, please become a monk…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

At another temple, there was a large statue of what Pete identified at an earlier time as the "Happy Buddha." Everyone has seen it: the fat "Buddha" that usually has a big smile on his face, the "rub my tummy for good luck" kind. However, Tip said that is was not the Happy Buddha: it's actually the Happy Monk. Then she told them the story

behind it…

The Happy Monk chose to become a monk; but he was extremely good looking - like "oh why did he decide to become a monk?!" type good-looking, so the story goes. He would always receive the largest food offerings from the local village girls and had to share some of it with the rest of the monks at the monastery because they didn't get enough to eat from the offerings they received (the villagers provided the monks with food). And as if that wasn't bad enough, whenever he went into the woods to meditate, the girls would all follow him and watch him, and he couldn't concentrate with all of them fangirling over him. So one day (when he could finally get away from the girls), he prayed to Buddha that he would make him ugly so that he could meditate in peace. So Buddha answered his prayer and his nose became big, his earlobes became as long as they are in most of the statues, and he became extremely big and fat. From that day on, all the girls forgot about him, and the other monks had to share food from their offerings with him. But he was happy, thus the "Happy Monk."

"Wooow," Alfred said. "I've always seen the statue but I never knew the legend behind him. He must have really loved his work."

"Such an inspirational story." Hungary said. "The monk didn't care about his looks; he was devoted to his work and would sacrifice his beauty for it."

"What a fool!" Francis said. "He had all those girls surrounding him and he didn't even care! Why would anyone want to be ugly?!" He shook his head. "Such a fool."

Tip later told them that people probably call him the Happy Buddha because of some miscommunication. Or Heracles's theory that it was probably one of those cases where there are different versions of the same story, like Greek mythology.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Then at another temple, which was all in white, though the monks had decided to gold-plate it, much to Tip's personal disliking of the idea - the white makes it look purer, she said. A few nations agreed with her. At the temple, there were a bunch of large, intricate stones - tombs for the ashes of previous Chiang Mai royalty. There was a point where it was a city-state all its own: Chiang Mai still has its line of royals, but since it was unified as part of Thailand they no longer have power. They also visited some ruins of older temples that are in the process of being rebuilt/refurbished. At one of them there was a large stupa that had half of it missing. Tip said that an earthquake destroyed it, but Kiku thought it looked like an energy beam a la DBZ (1) had gone through it because of the way the destruction was formed around the rest of the structure. He voiced this out loud and soon regretted it, for as soon as he said it, Australia and Alfred jumped up.

"In order to destroy something like this it must have taken a lot of power." Australia turned to Alfred. "Alfred, what does the scouter say about his power level?"

"IIT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!" Alfred shouted.

"What, 9,000?!"

Everyone else face palmed.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The tour ended somewhat early that day, and they bid Tip farewell (another tour guide from a separate tour agency was going to take them through the sites to Chiang Rai the next day) and for lunch they hit up a noodle shop directly across from the hotel. After that they went back to the hotel to rest for a bit. Alfred looked out their room window, which was directly above the pool. He and Kiku watched the people in the pool area, though Kiku drew comics while watching. Once, when Kiku was preoccupied with drawing, Alfred said, very loudly, "There's a man with no clothes on down there!"

Francis ran over, shoved him out of the way and stared out the window.

Kiku just went "ew" and continued drawing.

Needless to say, Alfred stopped looking.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

For dinner they went back over toward the night market to eat at the Subway next to McDonald's, and got ice cream at McDonald's.

Arthur complained, "I did not come to Thailand to eat bloody American food!"

"Then why are you eating it?" Hong Kong asked.

Arthur stuttered. "I…I…I'm just hungry that's all! There's nothing else to eat. I…it's not like I like American food if that's what you're insinuating."

"I didn't say that." Honk Kong replied.

Kiku chuckled quietly. "Tsundere…"

Alfred looked at the receipt and realized that the price of one vanilla ice cream cone in Thailand was equivalent to 50 cents in the U.S.A.

He turned to Thailand. "You're so lucky; your ice cream is cheap." He then looked at the sky. "It would be cool if I could make ice cream cost that much at home."

After dinner they checked out a large mall that was in the area. Seychelles found a bigger bag to carry her souvenirs on the plane trip to Phuket, and then back home. And they checked out the night market once more. Belgium bought a wrap around skirt and a blouse.

"What is it with girls and shopping?" Gilbert commented.

"One of the mysteries of females da ze." Yong Soo said.

Afterwards, they went back to the hotel, a few nations watched the news, and everyone went to bed.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Tino sighed.

"s'mthin' wrong?" Berwald asked him as he pulled the bed covers up.

"Seeing all those dogs made me think of Hanatamago." He replied. "I hope she's ok and doesn't miss us too much."

Berwald gave him a hug. "'m sure she's fine. D'n't worry. We'll be home soon."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"Hey West, how come your staring into space?" Gilbert asked his brother, who hadn't yet changed into his pajamas. "You look like Feliciano."

"Huh?" Feliciano snapped out of this pasta filled daydream. "Did you say something?"

"The dogs today made me think of my own dogs." Ludwig said. "I'm not sure that I gave them enough food."

"Ah they're fine." Gilbert patted him on the back. "They'll live. And if not, you always have Feliciano."

Feliciano looked at him. "Ve, what's that supposed to mean? I'm not a dog."

"Hey Felici, go get my slippers." Gilbert commanded.

"Ok~!" He did what he was told.

"Good boy!" Gilbert pet his head.

Feliciano smiled and made a happy little sound.

Gilbert grinned and looked at Ludwig. "You see. Plus, considering the stuff you're into, I bet you'd love to see him in a dog collar and leash…"

Ludwig threw a pillow at him, roughly.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1)Dragon Ball Z


	20. Thailand, Part 9

I AM SORRY! I haven't updated in forever! =( You may kill me, I know I deserve it….

_Disclaimer-Haven't you realized by now that I don't own this series? No? Well, I don't._

Thailand-Part 9: In which Alfred is especially annoying.

THE NIGHT BEFORE:

"Hey Rody. Hey Rody Rody Rody." Gilbert poked Roderich's cheek. They were both lying in their hotel bed.

Roderich groaned. "What? What could you possibly want at this hour?"

"I just wanted to say…" he pulled out a flashlight and turned it on as he held it under his chin. "_**I'm going to invade your vital regions while you sleeeeeep**_."

Roderich stared at him with a mixed look of annoyance, confusion, and fright on his face.

"I think I'll sleep on the floor tonight." He picked up his pillow and got off the bed quickly.

Vash backed away from Gilbert. "Not so big on the element of surprise are you?"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After the typical morning routine, the nations went downstairs with some overnight bags (because they would return to Chiang Mai the next day, their main luggage was kept in a storage room at the hotel) and met the guide of the day: Panida, or "Da" as she said some called her. Alfred though kept mistakenly calling her "Dai".

"Why are you telling her to die?" Feliciano asked, very confused.

"It isn't dai, Alfred, it's da ana." Thailand told him.

"That's what I'm saying, dai!" Alfred said firmly.

"Da and die are my two favorite words." Ivan said cheerfully.

Yao just stared at him.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After stopping at a tribal village (this time of the Akah tribe), they went to an elephant camp. They parked at an area specialized for such and had to cross one of those bridges (like the kind you see in the movies that are typically in poor repair - this one was safe though, but it freaked Raivis out a little) that went over the river to get to the elephants.

Raivis shook all the way crossing the bridge.

"Gyaaah! The bridge is unstable! We're all gonna die!" Gilbert shouted.

Raivis screeched with fright and buried his face in Eduard's shirt.

Ludwig looked at him sternly.

"We're on a bridge Artie!" Alfred said in an annoyingly cheerful tone.

"Yeah we're on a bridge!" Matthew (whom Alfred had convinced to play along with him) said in the same tone of voice. (1)

"Stop. Just, stop and shut the bloody hell up." Arthur said through gritted teeth.

When they got close to the other side of the bridge Lovino saw this really, really fuzzy caterpillar-like thing; Da said that touching those kinds make you itchy, but he didn't hear her. Lovino smiled evilly. 'Heh heh heh. I'll put this caterpillar on that Potato Bastard's back!' When no one was looking he picked up the little caterpillar with his thumb and index finger… and immediately dropped it, yelping.

"It itches!" He tried to scratch his fingers, but this proved to be even more awkward. (2)

A few merchants were selling trinkets, and there were chickens running around everywhere, as well as a mother elephant with her baby in an enclosed area.

"Awwww it's just like 'Dumbo'!" Denmark said as he looked a the elephants.

The baby elephant walked up to him and bopped him on the head with his trunk.

"I don't think he liked being called dumbo." Norway said.

Going a little past that though, they could see the mahouts bathing some of the elephants in the river. They then reached the area where they boarded the elephants (2 people per elephant) for a half-hour elephant ride.

"Giddy-up! Ye-haw!" Alfred said as he pretended to swing a lasso around.

Francis sat very, very, _very_ close to Arthur as they rode on their elephant. Too close.

"Let go you bloody frog!" Arthur said as he tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

"Ah, but if I move back I'll fall off~!"

"That's the idea."

The route went through a pre-made path along the river... and then on the turnaround to go back toward the camp they actually went into the river. The entry point was so steep, though, Berwald almost thought Peter was going to fall out of the seat. He both made sure to hold onto him tightly.

"Don' fall."

"Let go, the mighty Sealand can take care of himself!" He shoved him away...and promptly fell off.

"Wahh!"

"I told ya." He got off and helped him back up.

After the ride they sat in a small outdoor auditorium (I mean really small) for an elephant show. The elephants and mahouts demonstrated how the elephants would carry logs before logging was outlawed in Thailand, as well as some other tricks - including a painting elephant.

"The Phoenix Zoo once had an elephant like that too named Ruby." Said Alfred. "This must be Ruby's long lost twin!"

Im Yong Soo turned to him. "We must bring this elephant to America and reunite them!"

"Yes!" Alfred nodded excitedly.

Arthur and Yao looked at them like they were out of their minds…which they were.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After some stops along the way, including lunch at a hotel near some farmland, they arrived at a river. Leaving their luggage in the car, they got in a long-tail boat and just went down the river in that with only pretty much what they wanted on hand (camera, jacket, sketchbook, and of course spending money). They would be in that same boat all the way to Chiang Rai. The boat trip was not a complete ride straight to the city. They visited a village of the Lahu tribe, where Heracles tried to (jokingly, he thought; especially after the "Almighty Gray Kitty" incident) get Kiku to try and pet one of the water buffalo there - and there were a ton of them.

"Hey it's like that Veggie Tales song!" Alfred said excitedly and began to sing. "Everybody's got a water buffalo! Yours is fast but mine is slow. Oh where we get them I don't know but everybody's got a water bufalo-ooooooo!"

Arthur face palmed. "Seriously….someone help me…"

also bought some hand-woven bracelets and a coin purse on a drawstring that you could wear like a necklace from one of the villagers.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After that they got back on the boat, but at one point the engine stopped on the boat.

"Great! It's D.C. all over again!"

"Ooh~ does that mean we have to sit close to everyone again~?" Francis asked hopefully, eyeing Seychelles.

"No, I'm sure we'll get a boat soon ana." Thailand said.

Francis pouted. "Hmpf!"

They sat there for a good half hour while the boat driver was trying to fix it until they were able to get to a docking area to get it fixed. Then after that they visited a Kahren tribe village (most known for their "giraffe neck women,"- but strangely enough they didn't see any) that kept a couple of giant pythons that celebrities and other tourists had pics taken with, but of course Roderich wasn't too keen on that idea.

"There is no way that I'll go near those things." He stepped back, away from the snakes.

Gilbert snuck up behind him and hissed in his ear. Roderich yelped and spun around. He frowned. "You're such a child!"

Gilbert laughed. "You're such a scaredy cat!"

A frying pan hit him on the back of the head.

They explored the village a bit; it was a bit bigger than the Hmong or Lahu villages. Once they finished up there they continued, and they eventually arrived at a port in Chiang Rai. The tour van was already there with their belongings when they reached the hotel, which appeared rather nice and even had a grand staircase that came from both sides of the - just think the staircase on the Titanic or in the ballroom scene from Beauty and the Beast.

"I don't know whether to sing 'My heart will go on' or 'Beauty ad the Beast'." Alfred said as he looked around the room.

"Please…don't sing either." Arthur said, practically begging him.

"Ve! It's so fancy!" Feliciano spun around the room. "It has a Renaissance feeling to it!"

"That line seems familiar…" Kiku noticed. (3)

They ate dinner at a buffet the hotel's one restaurant - a buffet in the morning, and a fine Western restaurant at night; well, depending on what menu you selected. Alfred and Matthew selected the Western menu. Alfred selected steak for main course while Matthew actually managed to get pancakes with maple syrup.

"Brinner, nice!" Alfred gave him a thumbs up.

The night ended as usual; Feliciano and Lovino found a snack buffet and tried to get some cookies. Ludwig and Antonio blocked their ways, being much taller than the Vargas brothers. They were not in the mood to handle two sugar high Italians. Ivan tried to kidnap Toris but Feliks stopped him in the nick of time. Other insanity also happened as well. A perfectly normal night.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1) Can you guess the reference?

(2) Seriously, if you've ever tried to scratch your fingers, it is very awkward. I'm talking awkward turtle awkward!

(3) It is familiar though, isn't it?


	21. Thailand, Part 10

Ok…I know I haven't updated in a very very very very long time….and I shouldn't give any excuses like "It's summer, I have a job, I'm busy"…I'm sorry….I really am sorry….*gives out free cookies to everyone*

_Disclaimer-I will (most likely) never own this series or the Monk series…*cries alone in a corner*. _

Thailand, Part 10: Has everyone lost his/her mind?

Day Ten: More Hill Tribes on the Road Back to Chiang Mai

The morning started as usual: waking up, taking care of hygiene stuff like showering, brushing teeth and getting dressed, and then the nations headed down to the hotel restaurant. For breakfast there was a buffet menu, which included several things from both Western and Asian traditions, including these tasty sugar-covered fry-bread treats called Chinese donuts. Alfred ate more than anyone else.

"And you wonder why your country has the one of the highest obesity rates in the world?" Arthur asked sarcastically.

"Yah, I don umberspand dat ah aww!" (1) Alfred replied with his mouth full.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After breakfast they met with Panida again and they started the trek back to Chiang Mai. Unlike the last time, they didn't go by river, but rather made several stops along the way. The first was an Akah tribal village up in the hills. Afterwards they went to a couple of border towns, one claiming to be the northernmost point of Thailand before reaching Burma/Myanmar, and another one where the border was divided by a bridge over a small river. At the second one there was a large border market they spent some time exploring.

"I'm tiiireeeddd desu yo!" Peter complained.

Berwald nodded, picked him up and carried him for a few minutes.

After some time, Tino began to get tired as well. He sat down on a log. "I'll catch up, don't wait for me."

Berwald looked at him then picked him up.

Tino squeaked with surprise. "Ah! Tha…that's not necessary Berwald!"

"My son got tir'd so I car'ed 'im. Th'n m' wife got tir'd so 'll carry you."

"I'm not your wife!" He protested.

Elizaveta appeared next to them. "Why do you deny your beautiful relationship?"

Roderich dragged her to the back of the line and apologized for her outburst.

Afterwards they reached the Golden Triangle, the point where Thailand, Laos, and Burma/Myanmar meet. At the Triangle was an opium museum with several displays explaining the history of opium and even some tribal legends pertaining to its origins.

At this point Kiku noticed an Akah-style spirit bridge in the museum (which they saw in the village as well) and observed that it almost looks like a primitive form of a Japanese torii (the red bridges at the entrance of a Shinto shrine - although some torii aren't even red). He asked Panida about it, but she was confused and didn't know what he was talking about.

"But it looks exactly the same!" Kiku said.

"I'll bet she stole it da ze." Yong Soo whispered to him.

"You would know about stealing aru." Yao said under his breath.

At another part of the Triangle (they stayed on the Thailand side the entire time) there was a huge Buddha statue being worked on and a whole boat-like temple-ish display supposedly being worked on for the Queen's birthday, with a mixed goal of re-working the image of the Golden Triangle as a Buddhist landmark instead of its notoriety of its role in the opium trade years ago.

"I once smelled an opium candle." Sadik said.

"Did you get high from it?" Holland asked.

"No, and it smelled gross. Like old paint." Sadik replied.

"Is that what opium really smells like? Than how did people get so addicted to it?" Belgium wondered aloud.

Seychelles shrugged. "Because people are weird?"

Everyone considered this as an acceptable answer.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Afterwards the countries spent a short amount of time at the lookout where they could see in the distance past the river the Laos and Burma/Myanmar sides of the Golden

Triangle – on the Myanmar side was a casino and on the Laos side was one in construction.

"A casino? It's like Vegas! Let's go and play the slots!" Alfred said excitedly.

"Yeah! And then let's reenact 'The Hangover ®'!" Gilbert said as he put his arm around Matthew. "Matt here can be Doug!"

"How did I get roped into this?" Matthew asked in a frightened way.

At the lookout point there were also a couple of shops, one of which where Taiwan bought a Thai silk dress before they left again for one of their other destinations before they returned to Chiang Mai.

"Mmm, that fabric is _très bon_ you~." Francis commented with a smirk.

"There should be a law against perversity during our trips." Said Roderich, frowning.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Their next stop was an in-construction temple known as the White Temple. They couldn't go inside because Lovino was wearing shorts (but by that time he was tired of Buddhist temples anyway).

"Even so, this is discrimination against shorts wearers!" Lovino said angrily.

"We should start a protest!" said Antonio who was also wearing shorts.

"I agree completely!" Francis cut in. "It's unfair to discriminate against shorts wears! Everyone should be allowed to wear shorts and not face such prejudice! They show off their legs~."

"I'm starting to agree with your outlaw of perversity on these trips." Vash said to Roderich.

Feliciano jumped up excitedly. "I'll make the picket signs for the protest!"

Ludwig sighed. "All this time I've spent with him…..and I still don't understand him…"

Arthur shook his head. "Have they all lost their bloody minds today?"

As the tour guide explained, supposedly a famous contemporary Thai artist who wanted to contribute something to his country designed the temple. Thus on the grounds of the temple there was also a gallery with his artwork and they sold prints of his stuff there as well.

"Ah, I recognize this artist." Frances said. "I have a few prints of his work. I have been to Thailand quite a few times."

"Yes, and a quarter of the population has been sexually harassed by you ana…" Thailand whispered to himself.

Later, a few nations felt that it was a good a time as ever to stop at a restroom and soon discovered one. What they discovered was that the restroom was a large, elaborate gold-plated building - with two stories! No one knew what the second story was for.

"It's a mystery da ze." Yong Soo said while waving his arms strangely.

"It would take the world's greatest detective to solve it." Denmark said.

"Sherlock Holmes?" Arthur asked.

"No! He is great but he's not the greatest." Alfred said, shaking his finger. "Adrian Monk is the greatest of all time!"

"He's the world's greatest detective?" Iceland asked.

"According to the author he is." Matthew said quietly.

"….aren't we breaking the fourth wall?" Norway pointed out.

"…oh dear…yes we are ana. We must be losing our minds faster than we thought ana." Thailand said.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After the temple they drove for some time until we reached a hot spring where they had a free "foot spa" - basically a place to soak their feet. So they took a break there and, surprisingly, Ivan was the only one who could stand to keep his feet in the water because they chose a spot high up close to the spring from where the water in the foot spa was coming (the foot spa almost worked like rings of a fountain on each level) and it was really, really hot. As it is the only reason Ivan could endure for so long was because after he stuck his feet in he didn't move and just let his feet adjust.

"Isn't the water near-scalding level aru?" Yao asked him.

"Maybe, I don't know. All I know is, it's warm." He replied blissfully.

There was a lower-level area closed off because it was hot enough to hard-boil an egg within minutes. To prove the point, eggs were sold at the spring! That water was even hotter than the foot spa water.

"Lunch and a bath so warm you could sleep in it…what a wonderful idea." Heracles said to Thailand approvingly.

"My feet feel absolutely wonderful." Ivan happily. "Even though they are completely red, it was worth it!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Once they left the hot springs it was a straight drive through forest and hills back to their old hotel in Chiang Mai. They had a different room a floor or two lower than their previous one this time. They ate dinner there and just relaxed for the night. However, Arthur lay in bed wondering, "Why was there a second story? Ahh, better not think about it too much, I'll lose my mind even more than I may already have."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1)If you need a translation, "Yeah, I don't understand that at all!"


	22. Thailand, Part 11

_Disclaimer-I don't own this series nor do I own anything related to Michael Jackson. _

Basically all the jokes stem from the fact that at my camp last year, the theme of our talent show was a tribute to MJ.

I have forgotten to mention that this all took place one year ago.

On a completely unrelated note, who else thinks that Sweden's voice in the anime is PERFECT?

Thailand Part 11- R.I.P. M.J.

Matthew woke up that morning to the sound of the TV and heard someone on the news. The first thing he heard was, "The death of Michael Jackson..." At first, he thought he was dreaming, but lo and behold, he woke up and Arthur confirmed to him, in his words, "The perv went belly-up."

"Hey! A great AMERICAN icon has died!" Alfred said as he stood up in his Superman® pajamas and pointed at him. "Show some respect!"

Arthur shrugged. "I wasn't a fan."

"Ok ok, so he wasn't exactly an angel, but he wasn't too BAD. I mean it's not BLACK AND WHITE."

"….." Arthur refused to even look at him.

The news mentioned Farrah Fawcett's death too, but sadly the only English-speaking news channel on the hotel's cable system – and, as it appeared, every news channel across the world- was more concerned with MJ kicking the bucket.

"Michael Jackson isn't the only person who existed…" Matthew said quietly, but as usual, no one noticed. He sighed sadly. "I know how you feel Farrah…not being noticed…" (1)

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The world nations got dressed, ate breakfast at the hotel buffet, and then rolled their luggage down to check out and wait for Tip to come pick them up and take them to the airport where they would be leaving for Phuket (which is an island off the southern coast of Thailand, near where it goes into that really narrow peninsula). When she arrived, they loaded their stuff in the tour van and made their way to the airport.

Alfred requested a CD, all the hits of Michael Jackson. It was played for the entire ride. The music was so loud people in other cars and even on the sidewalk could hear it.

"Mate, turn it down! I'm going to lose my hearing!" Australia said as he covered his ears.

"You can't stop the THRILLER!" The self-proclaimed hero replied.

The airport had their bags checked right upon entering the airport, then checked in the larger luggage, and didn't have their carry-on's checked again until they hit the terminal.

"Fin-mama, I'm thirsty desu yo." Peter whined.

"I'm sorry but we don't have a water bottle. I'll buy you one before we go on the plane."

All of a sudden, the security guard stopped them. "What's in this bag?" He pointed to the little bag Peter was carrying.

"Ah, there's some books (children's manga that he had bought in Japan) and other things desu yo." The micro nation replied.

The guard asked again, "What's in the bag?"

"They're just comics, see?" Tino said as he patted the bag.

They started looking through, and showed them the scan they came up with.

All of them except for the security went "O.O OH."

Peter grabbed the bottle out of the bag. "I was wondering where it went desu yo."

"Don' drink it. It'll be w'rm an' ya won' like it."

So they removed the water bottle and all was well from there. There were a couple of shops in the terminal, so they looked around for a little bit if nothing else to amuse themselves and Kiku got an ice cream. He almost bought a Keroro Gunsou (a.k.a Sgt. Frog) ice cream they were advertising. It came with a Keroro finger-puppet though so he debated for a while but ultimately he chose something he knew he would like, as he wasn't sure what flavor the Keroro one was.

"It bet is was like totally frog flavored." Felix said.

"Ewwwwww!" Belgium said as she stuck out her tongue.

"Oh but you'd love that wouldn't you, _Frog_?" Arthur said as he smirked at Francis.

The Frenchman frowned. "You wouldn't even know what good taste is with your cooking."

The two glared at each other for quite some time.

When the plane finally arrived, they boarded and throughout the flight Kiku was either drawing or looking out the window. Elizaveta peaked over his shoulder and looked at his drawing. Kiku noticed this and his face went completely red.

"Ah! Eto, anou, I was…umm…this is…"

She gave him a thumbs up. "Nice. I support Hitachiincest too." (2)

Alfred pulled out his mini-iPod speaker and played all of MJ's hits for the second time that day. Once the album was over, he played them all over again.

"Help me…" Roderich (who was sitting next to the American) groaned, getting tired of the songs already.

"Oh come on, you gotta admit; his music's pretty great. You just can't BEAT IT!"

Thankfully it was only a two-or-so hour flight, but they still got a little snack about halfway through: sweet rolls. The nations liked them for two reasons: 1. They were really good and 2., with his mouth full, Alfred couldn't sing, so for a short time they didn't have to listen to his horrid voice.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

They arrived at Phuket and met up with a tour guide who drove them to their hotel where they spent the rest of the day.

The hotel was a very nice beach resort with one beach within walking distance of the front and a smaller beach behind the back of the hotel. The tide was low though, so when they got there they couldn't go to the beach behind the hotel (since it was a heck of a lot closer) like they wanted to... instead they checked out the swimming pools. They all swam, except for Toris who sat in the beach chair.

"Why aren't you like swimming too Liet?" Felix asked as he got out and sat next to him. "The water's like perfect temp."

"I was just thinking of the redundancy of all this… we're in a swimming pool and there is a beach right next to us."

The blonde country looked at the beach. "Yeah, I guess that's like true."

"Yeah, it's right stinkin' there!" Gilbert commented. "So why are we in a pool? We can go in a pool anytime, but some of us don't live in places that border the ocean."

"Well, for me, I don't want to be eaten by a shark and there are no sharks in a pool." Raivis said.

Francis, meanwhile, was eyeing the tiny nation as well as several other nations the way a snake might eye a mouse. "Ahhh~, seeing so many wonderful bare bodies does my heart good…"

"There are pedo-sharks…" Wy (3) said as she moved far away from the Frenchman.

And it rained a little while they were in the pool, but no lightning so they stayed in there for a little while until they picked from one of the several restaurants in the hotel to eat dinner. They chose a place with an appetizer and dessert bar that had outdoor seating within a good view of the beach.

After their meal they headed back to their hotel room on about the 3rd or 4th floor and spent the rest of the night there watching TV and relaxing.

Of course, those who were sharing a room with Alfred or were near in one of the rooms next door had to endure all of Michael Jackson's hits being played all night….for the millionth time.

"ROCKIN' ROBIN!"

"He can hear this bloody songs all the way in heaven!" Arthur shouted as he covered his head with a pillow. "…Or hell…I don't quite know where he is…."

"_**He's still here….right now….with US…" **_Ivan said

"…..did you say something?" Matthew asked.

"No, go back to sleep, everything's fine…"

Having Ivan say "Everything's fine" made the Canadian feel anything but fine.

"I'm a SMOOTH CRIMINAL!"

"I'm going to be the criminal and kill you if you don't shut the bloody hell up!" The very annoyed Englishman shouted.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1) Show some love for Canada!

(2) Guess the anime!

(3)The principality of Wy, a micro nation near Australia. I so want to cosplay her!


	23. Thailand, Part 12

I've added in a few of the new nations cuz they are so damn cute! w

_Disclaimer- I haven't owned anything for a long time now. _

Thailand 12- Cultural differences 

That day was the last tour of their trip. They woke up in the morning and picked the only restaurant open for breakfast hours and ate there before meeting the person who would drive them to where they would have their tour pick them up, and afterward the tour guide and a few of the other groups they were going to be joining. They reached a dock clear on the other side of the island where after about an hour of waiting they had to board a smaller boat that took them out to a bigger tour boat. Each of the families/groups they were with introduced themselves as did they when prompted by the tour guide - it was quite an interesting group that was formed overall. There was a family from India, an

Indian-born family from Bangkok, and a family from Pakistan.

"None of these countries have been characterized yet da ze." Yong Soo pointed out.

"Ack! Don't break the fourth wall aru!" Yao said, waving his arms frantically.

Turns out interestingly enough though the tour guide was German.

"Well, I'm East and Ludwig is West, so do you want to be North or South?" Gilbert asked him.

The tour guide had no idea what he was talking about. Ludwig apologized for him.

"Why is it that the younger brother has to apologize for the older one's immaturity?" Roderich asked aloud, looking at Gilbert with annoyance.

The nations hung out towards the stern of the boat where there was shade the entire time as the boat traveled across the turquoise-colored water through the small islands while the rest mostly stuck near the bow except occasionally the father of the Indian family because that was also the smoking area of the ship (none of them smoked though). The stops included James Bond Island, a tiny little tourist-trap island that was featured in one of the James Bond movies, but now mainly hosted a few shops.

"It's Jones, Alfred Jones." Alfred said with a sly smirk as he put on his sunglasses.

"Please stop destroying a great BRITISH icon." Arthur sighed with exasperation. "And besides, that move seemed more like CSI Miami. You're a little mixed up."

"More like, shaken," said Taiwan as she put on her sunglasses. "But not stirred."

"YEAAHHHHHH!" Seychelles screamed, sounding like the opening for the show.

"Thanks for adding in the scream."

"I'm screaming because I got stung by a bee!"

Liechtenstein bought a bracelet for herself and a shark tooth for her brother because the shopkeeper was very insistent.

"It works for him, since he always snaps at everyone like a shark." Lovino said.

Vash spun around and sneered at him. "This shark may have left his guns at home but his bite is still strong…."

"Gyaaahhh! Tomato bastard save me!" Lovino hide behind Antonio.

The countries had lunch at an island village and ended up sitting with the Pakistani family. They had some interesting conversations.

Alfred asked, "Do you have McDonalds in Pakistan?"

"Yes, we do." The family responded.

"Do you eat hamburgers?" he asked hopefully.

"Um, no, we don't eat burgers made out of ham." The daughter of the family replied.

"No no, he's talking about beef burgers." Toris corrected.

The tour guide also tried to freak out Ukraine by telling her one of the dishes they were served at the restaurant was monkey meat.

"What?" She was shaking with horror so much her enormous…er, "tracks of land" (1) bounced violently.

"He's joking, he's joking ana!" Thailand said reassuringly.

They also did some shopping in the island's market after lunch and then headed back on the boat. Their last stop was a small area of ocean near an island or part of the mainland or something where they could jump off the ship and swim if they wanted to. Peter would've (he was wearing a swimsuit underneath his clothes) but it was a teeny bit too far from shore for his "parent's" comfort.

"The might Sealand can handle that desu yo!" The little boy protested. "I'm surrounded by water anyway desu yo!"

"E'ven so, w'd feel saf'r if ya'd stay 'ere." Berwald replied.

The blonde micro nation sat down and pouted. Tino patted him on the back. "It's only so we feel safer."

No one else wanted to swim either... so after about ten or twenty minutes they headed back to Phuket and ate some nice fresh watermelon on the way (The tour guide said the watermelon is usually only for the swimmers, but since no one in their group swam, well...). Peter stopped pouting as soon as he got watermelon.

They spent the rest of the afternoon after they got back at the hotel swimming in the pool and doing their own thing.

"The Pakistan family has a McDonalds in their country, that's confusing." The American said as he swam around the Allies. "How can they have a McDonalds when they're not allowed to eat cows in Pakistan? Or wait is that India? Or is it both?"

"Someone needs to brush up on his world cultures." Arthur said, rolling his eyes.

"Who?" Alfred asked, confused.

"You sound like my bear." Matthew half smiled.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

That night though they ate at a different restaurant within the hotel that they ate at the next night as well. Since this restaurant was outdoors too, they were surprised to see some bats flying above them.

"Ahhhh! Not again!" Monaco hid under the table. Several others put their hands over their heads or hid behind other larger nations.

"Why is everyone so scared of bats aru?" Yao asked.

"Because they're scary!" Feliciano said, clutching Ludwig's arm.

"Don't hold on so tightly!" The German tried to shake him off.

"They won't hurt you _petit Italie_," Francis said. "See, all they want to do is eat the bugs that are flying around."

"They eat bugs?" Seborga cringed his face and stuck out his tongue.

"They probably better than Arthur's cooking." Lovino said under his breath.

Arthur glared at him. "I beg your pardon?"

Lovino hid behind Antonio once again.

While eating they heard singing coming from upstairs, and decided to check it out thinking it was a karaoke thing... turns out it was just a group that sings professionally for the hotel though. It was kind of sad though since until they left shortly after one of the songs they were the only people watching/listening to their performance.

"It's just like that high school group in Washington D.C." Eduard commented. (2)

Afterwards they all turned in and went to bed.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1) Partly what it says on "Hetalia Wikia", and partly a "Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference." I got it for my birthday a d watched it immediately after opening.

(2) Reference to "The Hetalia cast goes to Washington D.C."


	24. Thailand, Part 13

Thanks again, so much, to Cardcaptor Ryoko for sending me her trip to Thailand!

Also, I was looking through all the messages I received about where they should go next. I had to think about it a long time, but ultimately, I made my decision based on who gave me more info. first so I had ideas. I'll make sure to get to everyone though, I promise!

_Disclaimer-I haven't owned anything during the entire course of this fanfic and I most likely will never own anything afterwards. _

Thailand, part 13 (and 14 and 15)- Three days of doing absolutely nothing…and loving it (1)

On the 13th day, it was sort of a chill day at the hotel. They finally checked out both beaches, first one being the beach past the front of the hotel where the tiniest nations waded in the water for a bit and collected shells and pieces of coral while their "parents" or "older brothers" got massages at a hut just off the beach.

"Ahh, this is much needed." Arthur sighed with bliss. "Having to deal with a PARTICULAR Hamburger-eating git with stupid ideas does not do well for my blood pressure."

"I don't suppose they offer "happy endings" here~?" Francis asked with a devious smile on his face.

"Shall I massage you again Aniki da ze?" Yong Soo asked Yao.

"No! Get away from me aru!" He backed away from him, covering his body with the towel.

Yong Soo pouted. "Hmpf! Hey Kiku! Can I…"

Kiku put his hands over his chest. "Absolutely not! I know what you're planning!"

"You know, massages came from Korea…"

"Would you cut that out already aru?"

Meanwhile, the little nations were exploring the seaside.

"Hey look! It's one of those shells where you can hear the ocean!" Seborga held the conch up to his ear and listened. His face slowly gained a look of horror upon it and he dropped the shell.

"What's wrong?" Sealand asked as he picked up a large piece of sea glass.

"I didn't hear the ocean…I heard a voice saying 'Kol kol kol…'" Seborga shook with fright.

The young nations made a pact to never speak of the incident again. They never noticed a certain Eurasian country hiding behind a rock, smiling a child-like grin.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

It started raining a little and the micronations went to where their parents were getting massages and just hung out for a little. There was another monkey there too, but of a different species from the monkeys they saw in Lop Buri. It seemed to belong to the massage people and it would appear it was tame... and wearing a diaper.

"So does that mean it's a baby monkey desu yo?" Peter said as he crouched down to look at it.

"No, it's just so it doesn't go to the bathroom all over the place." Wy said, putting her hands on her knees and bending down a bit.

After their massage was finished they walked back to the hotel and hung out in their rooms for a little while. In the Allied Powers room, Alfred decided to watch cartoons.

"Strange… this one's in French! But with my knowledge of languages, I bet I can figure it out."

He figured out he could but barely understand what was being said in a French cartoon even after three years of French classes.

"I have no idea what's going on!" He whined.

"I could give you some ~private~ French lessons." Francis offered with a wink.

"No thanks…I'll just look for something else to watch."

After some channel searching, he actually found a station that showed Thai dubs of foreign cartoons - a lot of it being anime, but there was a Spongebob episode that aired too.

"Yeah Spongebob!"

"I do not understand why you like that strange show." Arthur rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the TV and read his Artemis Fowl® book. "Heh, Orion…" he chuckled.

"C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G SONG!" Alfred sang loudly….and badly.

"I liked it better when he didn't understand the language aru." Yao said as he covered his ears with a pillow.

The nations then ate lunch and then decided to go to the beach behind the hotel and checked it out, more or less just standing in the water - their feet got hit occasionally by coral debris, but other than that it was just nice to enjoy the beach. So it was just another peaceful day before they began the trek home.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The next day, they spent their morning as usual and packed some of their stuff up for the trip back to Phuket's airport and then the plane flight back to Bangkok. Instead of heading out right away they stayed one last night at a hotel right next to the airport - that surprisingly had some American stations on their TV- in English. Alfred turned on one show that got all the nations talking.

"Wha….what the bloody hell is this?" Arthur looked at the screen with a horrified expression on his face.

"It's 'Jersey Shore', isn't it ridiculous?" Alfred said, smiling.

"Why would you watch this?" Roderich asked, disturbed by the actions on the screen. "It's so….disgusting!"

"And they're giving Italians a bad name!" Lovino said angrily. "Plus not all of them are Italian; they can't call themselves Guidos unless they're Italian!"

"I think the real question is…even though we're all complaining, why are we still watching it?" Iceland wondered aloud.

"It's addicting because the people are so crazy!" Alfred said, still watching the screen. He flexed his muscles. "Yo! I am Da Situation!"

They later had dinner at the buffet and more or less called it a night.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

They had to wake up early in the morning to eat a small continental breakfast and head out by the airport shuttle back to the airport and spent their morning there until they had their flight was called. Right before they were allowed to enter the terminal at the airport in Bangkok though they had a bite of ice cream from a Dairy Queen right outside the terminal. It was then that Alfred discovered that Dairy Queen does not serve cookie dough blizzards in Thailand - so he had to go with something else.

"I almost ALWAYS get a cookie dough blizzard when I go to Dairy Queen in the States." He pouted.

"Stop complaining, just get a different one." Arthur said in his big brother tone.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Alfred said while pointing his finger at him. "You're not my big brother anymore!"

"….." This caused Arthur to get a sad look of his face and he turned away.

"…Um…s…sorry…I didn't mean to make you upset.." Alfred said, concerned.

"I'm not upset!" Arthur snapped, turning his face to glare at him, small tears in his eyes. "I….I don't care that you're not my little brother anymore! In fact…I…I'm grateful!"

Kiku observed the scene. "….Tsundere…(2)"

Elizaveta also watched them, a fangirl's smile on her face. "A great scene…"

Alfred he got an Oreo Blizzard instead, offering Arthur some.

"I don't want any! Especially not from the spoon you've been eating from…." He blushed a little. "I…I mean, t...there's germs on it!"

"And it's an indirect kiss…" Elizaveta sighed happily, still watching them.

Before they left, there was another incident regarding their luggage weight that almost caused them to miss their flight.

"You're over the limit." The airport guards said.

"Everyone, please check your bags quickly and see if you have anything you could take out ana." Thailand said. "We don't have much time."

The nations all rummaged through their suitcases. Besides clothing, toiletries and souvenirs, a number of strange items appeared:

Rambutan fruits, coins, a frog, a dog ("They snuck into my suitcase desu yo!" Peter claimed), lychee fruits, dragon fruits, a monkey (I don't know how he got in there desu yo!"), a grey cat, ("…..He needed a good home" Heracles said), Asian style umbrellas, carpets (the non-flying kind), watermelon, seashells, and a bat flew out.

"….I think we're taking home half of Thailand." Belgium commented.

After cleaning out their luggage, they quickly rushed to get on the plane.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"So, where should the next meeting be held?" Toris asked.

"Let's spice it up!" Alfred said loudly. "We should go to a continent! Like…Australia!"

"Sounds interesting," Arthur nodded to agree with his idea. "I'd like to see what my other former, quieter, brother has done with his land."

"Yes, I would like to go too." Kiku said.

Everyone else voiced his/her consent to the idea as well.

"Then it's agreed: Next stop, Australia!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Yes, it's going to be Australia! The thing is….I do have information and ideas but I'm always open to more. Anyone have any ideas for what they should do or where they should go?

(1) Guess the reference!

(2) A term for a character that acts tough and aloof on the outside but is really shy and sweet on the inside

Also, I have nothing against Spongebob; in fact, I loved the show when I was younger! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! However, I do not watch the Jersey Shore, only clips of it on "The Soup".


	25. Australia, Part 1

It's finally here, after all this time waiting! I'm really sorry! I'd blame it on schoolwork, but let's face it: I'm a procrastinator.

Thank you very much to Alana-kittychan for giving me information and stories about Australia!

_Disclaimer- Do I own this series? HE-YALL no! _

Australia, Part 1- Out in the Outback. 

And so, as time passed and it wasn't long before the date arrived for the next World Meeting. The nations all got on planes and gathered together in the host country/continent.

"Alrightie mates!" Australia (1) said to the nations when they had all arrived, flashing a grin. "Let's begin with a trip to the outback!"

"Yeah! I'm gonna get baby back ribs!" said the self-proclaimed "Hero".

"He didn't mean that Outback®….bloody idiot…." The Hero's ex-older brother said.

The nations got onto a bus that drove them from the airport to a preserve in the outback. Before they reached their stop, there was a small incident…

Feliciano was stuck in the back of the bus (he usually rode in the front during car trips) and it wasn't long before his face started to turn green.

"Ve~eh…Ludwig…I don't feel so good…."

"I told you not to read while we were in a vehicle."

"But it was a great cookbook on pasta dishes! I couldn't put it down!" He then put his hand over his mouth. "P…pull over…"

The driver quickly stopped at a gas station. Feliciano got up too fast and felt dizzy. He walked/stumbled out of the car and put his hand on the wall. Ludwig nearly leaped off the bus and into the gas station.

"I got the keys!"

"Too late…." He had gotten sick all over right next to the bathroom door.

"….."

"Clean up on aisle three!" Gilbert announced.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After that quick detour they continued on their way to the outback. They finally arrived at Uluru-Kata Tjuta where several animals were running, crawling and hopping around.

"They look friendly but don't underestimate them." Australia said. "They can be bloody dangerous."

-To break the fourth wall for a second, do you actually think they're going to listen?-

Peter was playing with a little Joey, hopping around with it. The mama kangaroo was standing close by as she watched over her child. The tiny nation than went over to the mama and looked at her curiously.

"How does he fit in here desu yo?" Peter asked as he stuck his hand into her pouch to see how much room was in there. The kangaroo just stood there calmly, being the patient mother she was.

"Wow! There's a lot more room in here than I thought desu yo!" He climbed up and plopped himself inside it. "Look at me Fin-papa, Su-papa desu yo! I'm a Joey desu yo!"

Without warning, the kangaroo suddenly started to hop away, her baby following after her. Tino and Berwald chased after her and quickly caught her. They scooped out the micronation who did not seem as shaken up as they were. In fact, he still looked as happy as ever, if not happier.

"I was almost kidnapped by a kangaroo desu yo!" He said excitedly.

Meanwhile, Lovino was enjoying a sandwich for lunch when an emu walked by and stole it right out of his hands with its beak.

"Hey! Gimme back my lunch!" He shouted.

-To break the forth wall again, as Alana-kittychan has advised, whatever you do, you do NOT want to mess with an Emu. They are damn huge and VERY fast. They also happen to be the world's 2nd largest breed. Now, let's see if this hot headed Italian knows this piece of information-

Lovino immediately began chasing after the bird.

"Now that's what I call dash and dine!" Alfred said with a big smile on his face.

Everyone else groaned and/or face palmed.

The emu ate up the sandwich as it ran. Once he was finished, he turned around and saw the brown haired man chasing him, nearly out of breath.

"That…was…my…lunch…you…stupid…bird!" He weakly hit the emu's wing then put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

The big bird (2) blinked then shuffled his feet, looking like he was getting ready to charge. Lovino yelped and ran away, having found his burst of energy.

"ANTONIOOOOOOOOOO! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He screamed as he ran away from the emu chasing him in hot pursuit.

Thinking fast, Antonio scattered crumbs of his churro around and scooped Lovino up, holding him the way a husband carries his new bride over the threshold. The emu stopped, looked at the crumbs and pecked at them.

Antonio looked at Lovino, who was clinging to his shirt, and smiled. "Now you're safe _mi pequeño Romano_."

"Y..yeah…now let go of me, bastard!" He squirmed, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Ahh, but your face is so cute! Like a _tomate rojo brillante_!" He put his forehead to the Italian and nuzzles.

"I think I preferred the bird!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After lunch, the nation followed Australia to a gigantic red rock.

"This is Ayers Rock, called Uluru in the Pitjantjatjara language."

"HEY EVERYONE!" a familiar voice called from the top of the rock.

Ludwig groaned

"I am Gilbert, King of the Rock! (3)" The awesome nation stoop tall and proud on top of the rock, hands on his hips. He then bent down and picked up a small rock. "And I got an awesome souvenir!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, bloke." Australia warned. "There's a legend that if you take anything from the rock, you'll be cursed."

"Ha! Yeah right! Even if there was a curse, my awesomeness would cancel the curse out." He said as he smiled triumphantly and climbed down the mountain. As was about three quarters down, he suddenly slipped and fell down the rest of the way. "Owwww…" He groaned, rubbing his head.

"Told ya."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The sun was setting as they traveled back in the bus to a restaurant for dinner.

"Tonight we'll be eating Aussie style."

"We gonna have shrimp on the barby, mate?" Alfred said, saying the only Australian slang he knew.

"Nah, but we will be having dog's eyes, vedgies, muddies, and crocodile meat."

"…" The nations looked a little confused. Ok, they looked very confused.

"Ha ha! Guess you guys don't get my slang! Dog's eyes means meat pies, vedgies are vegetables, and muddies are mud crabs."

"Ah, I see." Roderich said. "Then, is crocodile meat code for something?"

"Nope. It's real crocodile meat"

His face turned as green as a crocodile.

"As long as I get Australian beer I'll eat anything!" Gilbert said, raising his fist in the air.

"It's most likely better than English cooking." Lovino whispered to his brother, who nodded in agreement.

"What was that?" The aforementioned Englishman glared at them.

"Don't be such chickens; it's good! Kangaroo meat is good too."

"Mr. Australia. I once heard you are what you eat. So if that's true, you a kangaroo?"

Australia smiled. "Yup!" He hopped off the bus once it was parked.

"So Francis is a frog!" Arthur smirked. "I always knew it."

The Frenchman turned his nose up. "Then you are the intestines of a pig."

Matthew sighed as he held Kumajirou close to him. "Can you two ever get along?"

"Who said that?"

After getting off the bus they headed into the restaurant. Each section of the table had a portion of meat and vegetables for those at the table to share. After trying the crocodile meat, every nation agreed it was delicious. And once dinner was over, they headed to the hotel for the night. Gilbert got drunk and sang Australian folk songs as he had one arm over his younger brother's shoulder.

"_Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,_

_You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me,_

_And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled,_

_You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me."_

Ludwig groaned. "My older brother, ladies and gentlemen." He said sarcastically.

"You sound so proud." Roderich replied just as sarcastically.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1) He doesn't have a human name yet, but I think he should be named Bruce. Anyone else agree with me?

(2) No relation to the one who lives on Sesame Street ®….I think.

(3) Guess the movie!


	26. Australia, Part 2

….*sigh* I've done it again….I said I'd update sooner…and here we are….a gazillion years later, the new chapter is finally up. To say I'm sorry is not enough! I'm not even going to say I'll update sooner; I know for a fact that I won't update again until the end of time! …And I do apologize for that….

Now, I am no expert on Australia, so there may be a few geographical mistakes. The reason I chose this national park is because of "The Wild Thornberrys." …I consider that a good enough reason!

Some of these events are based of real life events. Others are made up.

_What? Me? The owner of this series? That's not true! Who told you that? Who? They lie!_

Australia, Part 2- The Enchanted Forest (or, In Which The Author Makes Many References To Other Forms Of Media).

The next morning, during breakfast in the hotel, Yao noticed something outside the window.

"Ahhh, it's so cute aru!" He exclaimed as he pointed up to a tree.

"That's cute?" Yong Soo said, looking a bit frightened. "He looks…fierce."

An angry looking koala was making its way down a tree to munch on some eucalyptus leaves.

"There you are!" Australia raised his arms for the koala to climb down. "I was wondering where you were hiding."

The little marsupial jumped onto him, his claws digging into his shirt.

Australia turned to the other countries. "This little guy has been my bud for as long as I can remember. You can pet him if ya like."

"He looks angry." Taiwan said, backing away after the koala seemingly glared at her.

"No worries; don't be fooled by his looks. He's a sweetie."

Yao was brave enough and gently pet the koala's head. The koala closed his eyes and wiggled his ears.

"See? He's friendly."

Yao sighed contentedly. "Petting cute and fluffy things makes me happy aru."

"Am I cute and fluffy Aniki?" Yong Soo asked, pointing to himself.

"I'm in a good place, don't disrupt me aru."

"You know, 'cute and fluffy' originated in…"

"If you were smart you'd stay silent ana." Thailand said.

"He does seem nice." Matthew commented as picked up his polar bear. "Perhaps he and Kumajirou could be friends."

"Yeah!" Australia held his koala up to Kumajirou. "What do ya say mate?"

First, the koala and Kumajirou stared at each other. Then they glared at each other. Then they growled at each other.

"Oi, easy on." Australia said as he pated his koala's head.

"Please be nice." Matthew said in his whispery voice.

"Ah, he's prob'ly just testy cuz he's sleepy. He usually sleeps during this time of the day. Or hungry. All right, you can go back to brekkie." He placed the koala back onto the tree.

The two animals continued to growl at each other, then after a bit, the two blinked, and nodded their heads as if in some strange mutual agreement. As if to say, "You're all right; we're cool."

The countries went back to exploring the buffet table. There were several familiar items on the table and a few unfamiliar things, like strange looking fruits and a jar of what appeared to be dark peanut butter.

"What is this?" Alfred asked as he held up the jar.

"It's Vegemite ®." Australia said. "It's…"

"Oh! I know what that is!" The American suddenly broke out into song. "Vegemite, Vegemite, yum yum morning, noon, and night!"

"….I don't want to know." Iceland shook his head and went back to his oatmeal.

"I never want to know." Arthur said, adding sugar to his tea.

"So, what exactly is it?" Netherlands asked.

"As I was saying, it's a spread for sandwiches and toast. Not everyone enjoys it, but I find it tasty on crackers."

"I'll try some." Roderich spread some onto his toast and took a bite. "It's not as sweet as I thought it would be but it's good."

Lovino shrugged. "Might as well." He also spread it onto his toast and took a bite. "Pff!" And promptly spit it out. "Yuck! What did I just eat?"

"Umm, toast?" Feliciano said, looking confused.

"No, I mean that Vege-whatever stuff I put on it." He took a long swig of his water. "It's gross!" He stuck out his tongue and pouted like a child.

Antonio chuckled and ruffled Lovino's hair. "My cute little gourmet."

He frowned and shoved his hand away. "Go away!"

"Hee hee, Fratello, you're always so grumpy in the morning." Feliciano said with a smile.

"It's not just in the morning…" Ludwig said under his breath.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

After breakfast the nations headed on the bus to Kakadu National Park, where they would camp for the night.

They first explored the rock formations.

"Vee~ Look! Pictures!" Feliciano said, pointing to drawings on the rocks.

"Yes, the Aboriginals, the indigenous people, drew these. It was their way to tell stories. They also used them to try to manipulate nature or people."

"Really…" Gilbert slowly smiled a scheming smile. He picked up a red rock, drew a crude stick figure of himself on the rock, and pointed to it. "Obey me!"

….Silence….

"Just ignore him everyone." Ludwig sighed.

"We already are." Elizaveta replied.

"Yeah, sorry but that's not gonna work nowadays mate." Australia said.

The 'awesome' nation frowned. He then felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned and nearly jumped.

Ivan had drawn an elaborate drawing of himself saluting with the Russian flag, a gigantic sunflower, and a fierce looking bear in the background.

He grinned. "Become one with Russia, da?"

"Er….the rock drawings powers won't work, right Australia?…Right?"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Next, they went to the wetlands. A few crocodiles were swimming in the water.

"There are two kinds of crocs here. Salties and freshies, short for saltwater crocs and freshwater crocs. Freshies only swim in freshwater but salties can swim in both."

"But, like, which is the kind that, like, ticks like a clock?" Felix asked jokingly.

"That one." Australia pointed to one crocodile that was sleeping near the bank.

"Wait…for reals?"

The continent-country nodded. "Just listen."

Felix was quiet. Suddenly he heard a ticking. "Wow! He, like, really does, like, tick! But, like, why?'

Australia shrugged. "Dunno. My guess is he swallowed the watch of a tourist."

"How do you, like, know it's not, like, a bomb?"

"I've checked."

"How did you, like,…?"

"Trust me, that's all ya need to know."

While this conversation was going on, the micronations were following a stork as it walked along the land.

"What are you all doing?" Sadiq asked.

"This is our tour guide." Wy explained to him.

"I see." He then joined the small group.

Raivis and Eduard also joined them.

"This is kind of fun." Raivis said with a smile.

More and more countries joined the tour. Soon, everyone was following the stork all around the park.

"He's actually very helpful." Australia admitted. "These are all the spots I wanted to show you."

The stork even paused at certain picturesque areas, like a waterfall, or spots where they were wildlife or an interesting plant.

"This is a strange bird." Eduard commented. "He seems to be acting like a real tour guide."

"I think he just might be." Toris said. "But, that's impossible, right?"

The stork then paused at a spot near the riverbank where several horses were drinking from the river.

"Oh wow!" Australia looked excited. "Brumbies! Wild horses! I didn't think we'd see these today. This stork really knows where to go."

"Maybe it's not as impossible as we think…"

After about an hour the stork stopped walking and flew away.

"Aww, is the tour over already?" Seborga said sadly.

"Let's find another tour guide desu yo!" Peter went searching for another stork.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The next destination was the plateau.

Alfred's eyes went wide. "WOAH! This tree is huge!"

"It's called a kapok tree."

Arthur signed nostalgically as he looked up at the kapok tree. "If we had been here when Alfred was younger he'd try to climb all the way to the top of this. I would have had a heart attack worrying about him. Thank goodness he's older and…. Oi! Don't climb it you idiot! You'll fall!" He put his arms up, ready to catch him.

Meanwhile, the mighty Sealand found some animals hopping around the park. "Oooh! Mini-kangaroos!"

"Those are wallabies."

"Don't go too close Peter." Tino reminded him. "Wouldn't want you to be almost kidnapped again."

"But they're so much smaller than the kangaroos from yesterday desu yo. I couldn't even fit in her pouch."

Gilbert snickered and nudged Francis.

"Uh, so immature. You need to have more sophisticated humor."

"It's still perverted humor." Belgium said, as she had overheard them.

"Yes, but at least it's for a higher class. For instance, the joke could have been…"

Berwald suddenly appeared, glaring at them. "Not in front o' m' child."

They two went silent.

Peter had moved on to the next interesting animal. "Puppies! They look like the puppies I noticed yesterday desu yo."

"No, not puppies kiddiwink; dingoes. Wild dogs."

Al of a sudden one dingo the alpha, barked once and began chasing after something that appeared to be flying in the air but could not be seen. The other dingoes followed him, jumping at whatever it was. They seemed to be playing.

"What are they all doing?" Cuba asked.

"Chasing faeries." Australia said nonchalantly. "They have the ability to see magical and supernatural beings."

Everyone was quiet. The only thing that could be heard was Arthur yelling at Alfred to come down from the tree.

"Don't hold that branch, it's too thin! You'll break the tree and your skull you git!"

"Uhhh…faeries?" Vash asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yup." Australia nodded. "I have them here."

After some time the American had finally come down from the tree and Arthur was scolding him as they walked back to the group. "Don't do that again! You could have been hurt."

Alfred pouted. "I'm not a kid anymore and besides, you don't own me."

Arthur coughed, his cheeks turning a little pink. 'Right…right….sorry…old habits…"

"Aww, were you worried for me?"

"No! Well, yes…I mean…"

Kiku smiled a bit. "Perfect Tsundere."

Norway seemed distracted. He looked up at something unseen. He put his hand up and held his finger at as if something was perched on it. "Not shy at all."

Arthur smiled as he looked at what Norway was looking at. "Well hello there." His head moved around, as if watching something fly in front of him. "I didn't know there were faeries here."

"Uh oh, Artie's delusional again." The American rolled his eyes. "And poor Norway is picking up his delusions too."

"I resent that." Norway replied, never changing his expression or even looking at Alfred.

He frowned. "I am not delusional, and that was rude of you to say you bloody prick."

"Yeah he hasn't gone round the bend," Australia said. "He just has The Sight."

"The Sight?"

He nodded. "That's the term for the ability to see the magical beings in our world."

"That...sounds kinda cool actually. How can you get The Sight?"

"There are a few ways: You have to have natural red hair, be born the seventh son of a seventh son, set faerie bathwater out overnight, rub faerie ointment made from four leaf clovers into your eyes, use a seeing stone, or have a hobgoblin spit in your eyes, among other ways."

"….I'm fine without The Sight."

"You're missing out. The faeries here like to play with those who can see them. They like to play with the dragon too."

"There's a dragon here?"

Australia nodded again. "No worries mate. He's a nice bloke. Oh! There he is now!" He pointed to the sky.

"It looks a little like a Chinese Fireball." Arthur commented.

"Chinese Fireball? Ooooh!" Denmark said.

Yao cocked his head to the side. "It kind of looks like my boss aru."

Alfred hugged himself. "I don't like being in a place with these…things I can't even see. A…are there any ghosts here too?"

"None that I know of." Australia replied.

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness."

"Yep no ghosts…that I _know _of."

He turned as pale as a ghost himself.

"All the animals, magical and non-magical, play with the Bunyip too."

"What's a Bunyip?" Ukraine asked.

Australia smiled devilishly. "Ohhh, you don't know? I'll tell you later during the bonfire. It'll be a great scary story!"

"A s…scary story?" Alfred began to shake once again and then folded his arms and smiled his heroic smile. "Bring it on! It won't scare me!"

"Oh look, a ghost!"

He screamed and clung to a tree.

Arthur sighed. "Nobody's going to sleep tonight…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Who can name at least three forms of media I referenced?


	27. Australia, Part 3

…..I told you…I warned you that I update only once about a million years. Thank you to the people that have remained all this time!...*crickets chirp*…..right….

Can you spot the running joke?

_Disclaimer: Read my lips…oh wait, you can't actually see me talking….so, uh, read this sentence: I do not own this series. _

Australia, Part 3- Beware the Bunyip! 

With their tents set up, the nations huddled around the fire for dinner and roasting marshmallows.

"Please don't sing that song again Artie…please…." Alfred said as he shivered a bit.

Arthur smirked. "What? You mean this song: _The fire flares up, and burns it to a crisp_…"

"YOU'RE GONNA SUMMON THE DEVIL!" Alfred put his hands over his ears.

"It's not the devil you should be scared of, but the Bunyip." Australia said.

"You mentioned that before. What is it?" Vietnam asked.

He smiled devilishly. "The Bunyip is a horrifying monster that likes to eat people, especially cute little Sheilas!"

"Well it's a good thing there's no one here named Sheila!" Belgium said.

"Sheila's slang for girls."

"….oh…."

Gilbert smirked. "Ha ha! You girls are screwed!"

"It's been known to eat men too."

"…."

Australia leaned over the fire, casting an eerie orange glow over his face. "The Bunyip's call sounds like laughter. Its how he gets ya. You think its safe; its just innocent, happy laughter, but then….it pounces!" The fire crackled when he said that. "Once you hear his call, there's no escape. It's the very last sound you'll ever hear…"

Liechtenstein clutched her older brother and shivered.

Vash frowned. "Stop scaring her or the last thing YOU'LL ever hear is gunshots."

"Ok no more Bunyip stories!" Alfred, who was hiding behind Yao, said. "The…children are getting scared."

"No were not." Said Wy.

"Yeah, we're fine desu yo." Sealand said.

"They …. they don't want to admit how terrified they are!"

"I think it's time for the all children to go to bed aru." Yao said, motioning to Alfred with his head.

"Perhaps we all should; it's getting late." Kiku said.

"G'night all. And be careful not to catch the Bunyip's eye girlies." The nation/continent said in a creepy voice.

"It's just a story." Vash reassured his little sister. "Nothing to worry about. But just in case I'm sleeping with my shotgun locked and loaded..."

"Seriously, how did you get that past security?" Francis asked.

"I have my ways."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

The nations somehow managed to fall asleep despite Australia's tale of the Bunyip. But, at the stroke of midnight, the nations were woken up by a strange sound.

Panic broke out in the girl's tent.

"What was that?"

"It sounded like laughter!"

"It's the Bunyip!"

"Eeekk! We're all gonna die!"

"Ok, everybody calm down." Elizaveta said, standing tall and taking charge of the situation. "There is no such thing as a Bunyip. It's just a myth."

"Th….than how do you explain the l...l...laughter?" Taiwan stammered.

"I bet it's just one of the boy nations trying to scare us, probably Gilbert….ooh if I had my frying pan…!"

"But that doesn't sound anything like him…." Liechtenstein said.

"Well than, if that thing really exists, I'm not waiting around to be eaten. I'm going to find it and kill it!" Natalia pulled a sharp knife out of her bag.

"…How'd you get that past airport security?"

"In rest of world, security checks you. In Belarus, you check security."

"Somehow that seems wrong…"

"Are you seriously going to go out there?" Seychelles asked, shocked.

"Of course! I'm scarier than any Bunyip!" she said as she stepped out of the tent.

"That's true..." Wy said, following her.

Ukraine stood up, a bit shakily. "I should be there for my little sister." She also followed after the knife-wielding nation.

"Frying pan or no frying pan, I'm going to take down this monster!" Elizaveta was next to leave the tent.

"Brother's always protecting me; now it's my turn." Liechtenstein went after them.

The other girls followed after them, not wanting to be left alone and unarmed.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Meanwhile, some of the male nations were awakened by the sound as well.

"Ludwig! Ludwig! Did you hear that?" Feliciano shook him awake.

"Erg…" Ludwig groaned and sat up. "Yes I heard it, it woke me up too."

"It's the Bunyip Australia was talking about!" The brown-haired Italian clung to him tightly.

"The Bunyip is just a story; it isn't real." As he said it, another burst of maniacal laughter was heard.

"That sounded real to me!"

The blonde haired nation sighed. "I'm sure it's just East trying to scare us."

"But how can he be trying to scare us if he's right there?" Feliciano pointed to Gilbert who was fast asleep.

"Zzzz…Pretty bird….so fluffy…" He mumbled in his sleep as he patted the top of his head.

"….um…..well then it's probably…" Ludwig couldn't think of what else the laughing sound could be.

Feliciano shook with fright. "Wha…what do we do?"

The laughter became even louder, waking up a few more nations.

"Erg, what's with all the racket?" Gilbert rubbed his eyes as he sat up.

"It's the Bunyip!" Feliciano squealed.

Gilbert frowned in a determined way. "I won't let it get me! I'm too awesome to be eaten! I'm gonna beat that thing to a pulp!" He ran out of the tent.

"East! Argh, rushing into things again," Ludwig also ran out.

"Don't leave me here! Waiiiit!" Feliciano followed after him.

On their way out, they bumped into a few other nations.

"So, you heard it too I take it?" Ludwig asked them.

"Yup, and we're not waiting around for it to get us." Alfred said. "I have to be the hero and save everyone! These guys are my backup!" He motioned to the other nations behind him.

"Where's that dragon when we need him?' Arthur looked around. "I'm sure he could be good protection."

Francis looked around nervously, twirling the ends of his hair. "I hope this Bunyip will leave the 'beautiful people' unharmed."

"I don't think it has any reservations for anyone aru." Yao said.

"And I bet 'the beautiful people' taste better." Arthur smirked.

"Don't even joke about that!" The Frenchman panicked.

Vash walked toward the group with a shotgun. "Are we going after this monster or not? I have a little sister to protect and no Bunyip is going to stop me." He walked toward the sound of the laughter.

"I have two sisters; I need to protect them both." Ivan was holding a lead pipe.

"…How did you sneak that past airport security?" Alfred asked.

"In rest of world, security checks you. In Russia…"

Kiku put his hand up. "I think I see where this is leading..."

"All right, I'll join you." Ludwig said. "I'm going to find out what that thing is, and, if it is the Bunyip, get rid of it so we can all go back to sleep."

Feliciano joined by default, as he wouldn't let go of Ludwig's arm.

-And now, a classic, slapstick-like chase scene-

Elizaveta held a flashlight as she and Natalia lead the way through the forest, in search of the source of the laughter.

"It's getting louder, which means we're getting closer." Monaco said.

"Yet I don't see anything." Elizaveta shone the flashlight into the woods. "No rustling, no shadows, nothing."

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Feliciano jumped the laughter was heard again.

"Dammit, where is this thing?" Vash looked around.

"The trees probably keep it hidden well." Kiku pointed out.

"But we should still be able to see something. Here, this way. Sounds like it's coming from this direction." Vash lead the way through a few bushes.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"Wait, I think I hear something." Seychelles said.

Everyone was quiet. Suddenly, they heard a rustling of bushes.

Elizaveta turned in the direction of the sound. "There! That way!"

The group moved in the direction of the sound.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"Do you hear that?" Gilbert turned his head. "Sounds like something's walking toward us. Something big."

Vash rushed toward the sound. "This is the one time I will NOT be neutral! I'm taking this thing down!"

The others followed.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"It's going that way now!" Vietnam pointed in the direction of the rustling bushes.

Natalia cut through some low hanging branches. "Don't let it get away!"

The girls ran in the direction of the sound.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"This is too scary! I'm out of here!" Feliciano started running away.

"I'm with you!" Francis followed.

Ludwig sighed. "Always retreating….wait a minute…" He called after them "You don't have a flashlight! Do you even know which way you're going?"

After a moment of silence, the two voices responded together: "No!"

He sighed once again as he ran towards the sound of their voices.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"It changed direction!" Wy said, running after the sound of rustling branches and footsteps.

Elizaveta picked up a pointed stick from the ground. "Let's go!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Ludwig searched around the dark woods. "Where are you two?"

"We don't know!" Feliciano sounded panicky. "We're trying to find out way back but we can't see anything! I think we're just walking in circles!"

"So stay in one place so I can find you! Don't be scared, I'll find you."

"Oh I'm not too afraid. I'm happy big brother France is here! He's holding me really really REALLY close to protect me!"

"No rush, really." Francis said in his suave voice. "We're doing just fine, just the two of us…alone…under this très romantique moon~."

Ludwig ran even faster. "There's something more dangerous than the Bunyip out here…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Seychelles looked around. "Where did it go? I can't even hear its call anymore."

All of a sudden they heard fast running footsteps.

"It's running faster now!" Ukraine said.

Natalia scowled. "I feel like we're on a wild goose chase!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"This thing's just playing with us!" Vash frowned. "We keeping running but we're never getting closer."

"And we haven't heard the laughter in a while." Arthur pointed out.

Ludwig returned with Feliciano and Francis, the former clinging to him and the latter rubbing his head.

"It's a good thing you came when you did Ludwig; I think I heard footsteps that weren't yours." Feliciano said, hugging his arm tighter.

"Yes, I got there just in time." Ludwig glared at Francis.

The Frenchman frowned. "Hmpf. As if that will scare me."

The laughter was heard once again.

"Eep!" Now both Feliciano and Francis clung to Ludwig.

"Where's it coming from aru?" Yao searched around.

"That way!" Ivan ran in the direction of the sound with the rest of the team following.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

Taiwan turned her head sharply. "It's getting closer!"

"Then be prepared to fight." Elizaveta held her stick tightly.

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"It sounds so close now." Arthur said as he picked up a large rock for defense. "I think we finally found it!"

"This is it!" Alfred got in a fighting position "Everyone, get ready!"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"Is everyone ready?" Natalia asked.

The girls all nodded. They had all picked up rocks and sticks to defend themselves.

"Okay then…"

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

"CHARGE!" The boys rushed forward with a battle cry.

At the same time, the girls rushed toward them with their own battle cry.

"YAAAH!"

If they had kept going for another half a second, someone would have been hurt. But luckily, they all noticed each other just in the nick of time.

"Brother!" Liechtenstein rushed toward her brother. "You're ok!"

"Thank goodness you're all right!" Vash hugged her tightly.

"My dear Ivan!" Ukraine hugged her younger brother.

"Big sis!" He hugged her back.

"Older brother…" Natalia clung to him.

"Little sister!"

"…and future husband."

"…G…good to know you're safe." He smiled nervously.

"What are you doing here?" Ludwig asked the girls.

"Looking for the Bunyip." Elizaveta replied.

"So are we." Said Alfred.

"I think we've just been chasing each other the whole time." Kiku said.

"That was you running through the bushes, wasn't it?" Elizaveta asked.

Vash nodded. "It was. And those were your footsteps we heard, right?"

"Yes." She sighed. "Well, it's good to know there was nothing stalking us after all."

"But then…where was the laughter coming from?" Wy asked.

Everyone was quiet. At that moment, laughter was heard once again, but this time, it sounded as though whatever was making the laughter was right above them.

"IT'S HERE!"

"There you blokes are! What are you all doing?" The crazy ruckus had woken up the host nation.

"The Bunyip! It's here and it's going to eat us up!" Feliciano shook with fright.

"Whoa whoa, easy on there!" Australia laughed. "That's not the Bunyip. It lives in the swamps, not the forest. Besides, it's just a scary story. What you're hearing is a Kookaburra."

"A Kook-a-what?"

He pointed up to a tree where a large bird was sitting. "That's a kookaburra."

They all looked up. A brown and white bird was perched in a tree. It flew down and landed on Australia's shoulder. He reached over and petted the Kookaburra. It opened its beak and made the laughing sound everyone heard.

"The kookaburra, or laughing jackass, (Dacelo gigas) is a large and noisy bird of the Australian bush. Although a member of the kingfisher family, the kookaburra does not eat fish but feeds mainly on large insects and small reptiles and amphibians. At a maximum of 47 cm (18.5 in) in length, and with a 10-cm (4-in) bill, the kookaburra is larger than most kingfishers, but its brown and tan plumage is drab by the standards of the family. Kookaburras nest during the spring and lay 2 to 4 white eggs in tree holes or termite nests. Their loud cries, which resemble human laughter and are typically chorused at dawn and dusk, are one of the characteristic sounds of the Australian bush. In other words they eat snakes."

Everyone was quiet for a moment. Monaco broke the silence by saying "I just learned something today."

Taiwan breathed a sigh of relief. "We were worried for nothing!"

"Good, now can we all please go back to sleep now?" Francis said.

"Kookaburra…that sounds familiar." Alfred said. "I think I know a song about this bird! A purple dinosaur on TV taught it to me. (1)"

"Yes, there is a Kookaburra song." Australia smiled. "It's nursery rhyme from my country. I'll teach it to you…"

It wasn't long before the countries were singing:

"_Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree,_

_Merry, merry king of the bush is he._

_Laugh, Kookaburra laugh! Kookaburra,_

_Gay your life must be_!"

Relieved of their fears, the nations walked back to their tents singing their hearts out. They were so busy singing that they didn't notice Ivan waving to a strange-looking creature descending into the dark woods back to the wetlands…

XxxxxxxXxxxxxxX

(1) This really is how I learned about the song as a child.


End file.
